My wonderful 13mo has generally always been a pretty good sleeper: long naps, good night stretches, easy bedtimes, is not fed to sleep, self settles, would occasionally wake up for a quick feed in the night but then go down immediately with no problem and straight back to sleep until 8am. Glorious! Obviously a few normal setbacks now and then (travel, sickness, 9month regression... eugh) but mainly ok.
Now I feel like I'm being punished for this.
She turned one, started nursery (only one day a week for now, upping to two in Jan which I think might help), had her 1month jabs and suddenly everything went to total shit overnight.
One night after a 4am feed she simply would not go back in cot - screamed and screamed and screamed until I brought her into bed with me, then fine. Now it's started a hellish precedent of cosleeping after the first wake up, which is sometimes at 9pm when I'm not even in bed!
I hate cosleeping, she thrashes about all night sucking on my boobs, clobbering me in the head, chatting, pulling my hair, insisting I am wrapped around her like a bloody koala or screaming, draping her body over my head, fidgeting, whimpering. I get zero sleep and am a grumpy wreck all night and day.
My partner goes to sleep in another room. He works 9-5 and I'm still not back at work (I'm freelance and planning on going back in Jan when I have more time) so I do all the nights. It made sense before and I was fine with because baby was EBF, but which I'm now starting to resent because she doesn't need boob in the night anymore. He says he can't do nights unless it's a weekend.
I've tried everything: controlled crying, sleep training revisit, sitting in her room with her patting for hours on end, singing, lying on her floor, putting her back in her cot after a feed in bed. She is having absolutely none of it. It's in my bed with me or nothing.
It's really affecting my mental health and my relationship with my partner, and I'm beginning to feel irritable with the baby at night, which I hate.
I know there's a lot going on with her (starting to walk, nursery, a lot of babbling and learning) and I'm sure it's a leap/separation anxiety thing - she's clingy in the day where she never used to be - and I know people say 'it's just a phase, enjoy it, it won't last, bla bla bla' but I am exhausted to the point of not functioning and beginning to dread every night.
Do I just ride it out or implement bigger changes?