Really exhausted 18 month old just doesn’t sleep

[Tired757]

So my 18 month old has always been a crap sleeper tbh since they were born. They were born with reflux which has now been resolved. However for the past 6 months sleep has been horrid. Just last night we were trying to put them to sleep for hours on end. They’ve ended up sleeping at 11:30pm and now ready to start the day at 5am. Please, what am I doing wrong here? I am also expecting so I’m very tired and exhausted running after a very active toddler. Naps are a constant fight, they simply hate sleeping. They’re now laying in bed. Can I also add they’re teething but the lack of sleep has been ongoing for the past 6 months !!

We dropped all naps at 18 months. Bedtimes got a lot easier and we found it they accidentally napped in the car for example, then it would all revert back.

Where do they sleep?

If putting them to bed isn't working, change how you're approaching it. You're exhausted could you (if this isn't already what you're doing) put their bed in your room, or put a bed for you in their room, and both go to bed at 8:30?

They'll grow out of it.

They sleep in their own cot and in my room. If we put them down at 8:30pm they’ll wake up 2/ 3 times and then up for the day for 3am. Also I don’t know whether it’s the fact that I give them a bottle when they wake up. But it’s only because they barely eat during the day.

Yes I’m thinking of doing just that as it just simply messes everything up. It’s always a constant fight putting them down anyways.

If they barely eat during the day it’s probably hunger waking them at night. What’s happening with the eating?

You need to bite the bullet here and sleep train them. If you have a room for them, put the cot in there. You need to put them to bed at about 7pm and leave them to it. I always potted about upstairs so they could hear I was close by. Then just check on them when they wake in the night or get a camera. Don't get them up or feed in the night. The crying will last about 3 nights. Everyone has to do this in the end. Mine are adults now, no harm done.

If they are hungry they will wake, as they need calories. But why are they not eating in the day and what changes can you make there?

It sounds like you might need to have a rethink in areas beyond the sleep? Do you give a bottle every time they wake?

Yes I did think so but the eating habits shifted just a month ago before that they were eating a decent amount. Now they’ll have 1 pancake and a petit filous for breakfast. Picks at their lunch and dinner.

I’ve put it to teething and illness to be fair. The eating habits changed a month ago but they’ve been having issues with sleep for over 6 months now. No, I only give a bottle at bedtime and when they wake up for the day so recently at 5 am.

Children get less keen to eat when teething. Foods that don't need major chewing can help, like porridge, scrambled egg, rice with sauce.

Why give milk in the night, rather than in the day? What are you doing in their before-bed routine? I see you answered above!

I am considering this now as I am beyond exhausted. I don’t have a spare room for them. Is there a specific sleep training method you recommend.

Sorry I haven’t clarified. They have at least three 9 ounce bottles of cows milk so I haven’t cut their milk out . Before bed it’s dinner if they even eat it . Then I give it an hour or so , then bottle and to bed. I’ve tried giving a cosy bath before bed everyday as per recommendations but that doesn’t seem to work so it’s now every other day since it’s too cold.

They are probably no eating in the day because they're filling up in milk during the night. At this age they only need 10 Floz a day and that includes milk in cereal.

I'd try some gentle night weaning. Both of mine slept better once they realised that milk was off the menu at night.

This method is aimed at BFers but can easily be adapted for FFers.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers? From memory it has a section on early waking.

If LO has had reflux for a long time, do you think there's a chance that they have CMPA? I have the non-Ige type and if I've had any dairy I have reflux type symptoms and also multiple wakings.

Does he get plenty of daylight too? I know it's difficult when you're exhausted and at this time of year but daylight has been proven to aid nighttime sleep.

How's his appetite going n the day and his sleep at night if you've done an activity like swimming?

Would be good to address the eating.

The problem with 'sleep training' is it ignores the role of illness, hunger, teething, separation anxiety.

Yes. And any sleep tracing method usually starts off by telling you not to do any sleep training if the baby is ill or teething.