5yo refusal sleep alone! We're exhausted!

[xtinabale55]

Help please! Advice needed, Our daughter is almost 5.5 always been a rubbish sleeper but much better last 2 yrs but randomly last 3 wks started walking saying she's having a nightmare we do not believe it as it's become the same thing every nt! Hubby was getting in the spare as she's a fidget and I'm a light sleeper it's exhausting and we've had to relat as both utterly drained, BUT it's got so much worse this last couple nts! She is waking 3-5 times refusing to go to sleep alone screaming the house down and I am frought with exhaustion bc I cannot cope any longer, my poor husband looks so ill and I feel like death, she argues the abs toss and so naughty as screams for house down on purpose, it's vile, she jjsy keeps coming in and we feel we don't want to continue making a rod when we know she is just pushing boundaries to get us to sleep with her which we don't want to do as neither of us get a rest as she moves so much she can't even sleep still! What is this all about, is this normal and what do we do???!

Anyone?

Honestly, we just had to persist with the back to bed routine. Every time they woke, it was a cuddle, shhh time for sleep and night night. No sitting with them, no conversation. They'll do their best to make you crack because that's what you've always done and they are so confused.... and furious! but if you tag team it and do it in 20 minute shifts it works. Persistence is the key and a really good bedtime routine. And a nice gentle night light.

A tired child isn't developing normally, isn't learning effectively and frankly is hell to be around . The best gift you can give your child is teaching them to settle themselves.

I would let her co sleep for a while, it won’t be forever and it will help her feel positive around sleeping until she is ready to go back to her own room. It will be for such a short time in the grand scheme of things even if it’s for a few months. Honestly everyone getting a good night’s sleep is the priority, not making her sleep alone in her own room just because you think you should.

DS - also 5 and ND - but sleep has always been hit and miss. We bought him a double bed so now when he wakes, one of us just gets in it with him. Plenty of space, minimal disruption! I’d also say he wakes up less since we changed too. As someone says up thread - doesn’t matter what you think you should do, just do what gets you sleep.

Op isn't getting sleep with co sleeping though.

Put her mattress or something else in the floor and she can sleep there. No fuss, no problem and not in your bed keeping you awake.

Is she an only child or are there others that the screaming and shouting is disturbing?

Just suck it up and keep returning her to her bed, she knows she is in charge so if she moans u’ll let her in yr bed.

I'd put a mattress on the floor in your room for her. Then she gets comfort and you get sleep

Or she is a scared child who wants comfort from her parents.

Let her sleep on a mattress in your room

Thank you all for the replies, lot of suggestions about putting a bed in our room and the double bed would've been a brilliant idea I have no idea why I didn't think about that before I got her a new single bed! Kicking myself or that, I can't co sleep with her sadly. Such a shame it is but she just fidgets too much and it drove me mad from the very beginning I just have being a light sleeper, I can't sleep at all. We don't have any other siblings sadly either no, again due to us being exhausted for first 4 yrs and sadly had a few losses since and unlikely to try again so she will be an only, this has caused me and her dad a lot of peroanl upset and worry for her future the last few wks as we are a very small family as it is and this has been a hugely worrying time of our lives, we haven't mentioned it at all as she's far to young and it's just bad news, tests will take months if we ever do find out but the lack of sleep hasn't helped, it's been another very difficult yr, just feels never ending and I am worried how her being so tired all the time is affecting her development as she can be so exhausted through not sleeping! She has never ever napped either! I just don't know how but she just refuses to sleep or rest, she seems totally unable or disinterested in stopping to relax and sleep.

Can you go to the spare room/her bed and dh sleep with her in the double?

We had 3 children under 5 (madness I know) and it was musical beds for years - we had no idea where we would wake up. We would just take the easiest option for sleep

They aren't trying to control you, it's dark, they are little and they need comfort.

Mine all grew out of this phase quickly. They are teenagers now and very much like their own beds!

@Coldandunderablanket it's so hard and I can only imagine how hard that was for you too!😫 I feel I've been to hell and back in so worn out with many other life issues and prob starting the menopause I don't know I'm only 39 but shattered all the time and so thirsty all the time, see the gp soon about it all but yes we jjst need to get sleep by any means, we leave a low lamp on so it's not dark but she still keeps waking even with hubby sleeps with her says she wakes in a panic about having bad dreams but sometimes won't say what they are 😫 xx

With mine we just put a cot mattress on the floor with a cover next to our bed and they came in and went to sleep. They all grow out of it eventually.

@Iloveeverycat yes I think we wlll just do this and see how it goes as don't know what else we can do tbh but def worth a try! Thank you x