What age did you start sleep training?

[flyingbeet]

My baby is 4 months old and she always wakes up from her naps and its difficult to put her back to sleep. Even at night she wakes up every hour or two. She's not hungry but she just wants to go back to sleep. Im exhausted and want a well rested baby instead of a grumpy one. So I'd like to know what age did you start sleep training and how did you do it?

7 months old I did with my oldest because she needed me to rub her back for hours until she fell asleep. I did the training where you leave the room and come back every 2 mins 5mins 10mins 10 mins- to calm and sssh and leave the room. Never could train my youngest, she always was happy for me to leave the room but just stayed awake.

4 months, did the ferber method starting with 2, 5, 10, 10 intervals of going in to check in. took about 3 nights to crack and think DS only cried for 10-20 mins at once at most. for naps he would self settle and we would re-settle after waking around 30 mins. he started consolidating naps once he rolled to sleep on his front around 5.5 months.

Following with interest. I didn't sleep train my first until he was 2 because I couldn't bring myself too but my god I wish I had done it earlier. We both were much happier once he got proper sleep and me too! I also did the 2 mins, 4 mins etc.

My current is 6 months and has been a pretty good sleeper as I've tried hard to put her down in her cot awake to fall asleep, but she is now waking more and needs dummy and holding my hand to fall back asleep. But isn't crying she is happy awake lying there. But am thinking I need to try and help her learn to fall asleep without holding my hand again.

7 months

Do not sleep train. It damages babies brain development. They don't learn to self soothe- they learn you aren't coming back and give up.

@Whenyourgonehowcanievengoon sounds like my DS at 4 months, he would repeatedly wake crying when he lost the dummy when before wasn't bothered. So we ditched the dummy at night whilst sleep training, he quickly found his hands/fingers instead.

He's now 12 months and goes to bed without the dummy every night, we give it to him early hours like 3/4am to get him through that lighter sleep period. He still has dummy for naps and when he's super cranky in the day but otherwise trying to reduce day use.

Did pp use dummy? Or does sleep training help them not to?

Around 10 - 11 months with the first two. I'd start with one minute and keep adding on one minute every time I went in. The third was sleep trained in a chaotic manner from birth because I was often running after the other two while trying to get the baby to sleep! He wasn't a better sleeper than the other two, but he has always self-settled happily - no anxieties around going to bed whatsoever.
As long as your baby is warm, fed, clean, healthy, there is no reason why you can't start at 4 months. In my experience, it is hugely beneficial to you and the baby.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-of-crying-it-out

@Janedoe82 your article specifically relates to 'cry out out' (aka total extinction) which none of these PP are talking about and is different to sleep training. OP has asked about people's experiences sleep training and how they did it, so we are sharing. There is no need to try and fear monger.

'sleep training' is the new way of saying controlled crying. You don't respond to your babies cries- just in a phased approach way.

Around 2 when we expected our son to be able to mostly sleep through or if he woke up, be able to get back to sleep independently. Only exceptions for this were room temp changes, nappy needing changing or illness, or if he was particularly unhappy with being left. I didn’t follow any ‘methods’, I just tried to be intuitive with it. 10 minutes of grizzling and no longer, if still awake a cuddle and put back down, rinse repeat. We rarely had to go back in after ten mins because he’d be fast asleep by then. I should say that he was a very unsettled colicky baby and I breastfed him until he was 3, so we have a healthy attachment, but we needed some fucking sleep by that point!

Ok so it's controlled crying, still different to cry it out where you leave the room and don't go back no matter what. Because with sleep training, controlled crying whatever you want to call it, you do go back, every 10 minutes, or whatever interval you are on, all night if needs be.

I'm not trying to get in an argument, I'm trying to say please respect OP's post and topic of conversation. Every parent has the right to parent how they choose, if you choose/chose not to this way then that's ok.

The problem with leaving your child to cry whether it be two minutes of twenty is that it releases cortisol in the brain which destroys neural pathways. It physically harms the baby. People don't like to hear this as their priority is to get a sleeping baby to meet THEIR own needs and convenience, not the babies.

IMO the needs of the parents are just as important. Functioning on little to no sleep isn’t sustainable and parenting becomes a lot harder at that point. Parents have a right to do things their own way and do what’s best for everyone. When we started sleep training I had no idea of it would work, but I’m glad I did it, we all got more sleep, and could all function better. My child is not traumatised, so there’s that.

We did after 5 months with the Ferber method (not cry it out), everyone got more sleep, happier all round.

We did it at 6.5 months. The 4 month sleep regression slammed into our little girl at 4 months exactly and didn't improve at all, so we tried a method where you go back to comfort baby (shush, pat, no picking her up) after 2 mins, then 2.5, and so on up until 5 minutes recurring. Although it never took that long - we were very lucky and she was asleep in minutes on night 1 and less and less time each day until from about day 5 she went straight to sleep alone and slept through the night.

Thank you for all your replies. My baby fights sleep. I struggle to put her to sleep even while holding or rocking her. Would sleep training work. As in if I go in every couple of minutes to try and soothe her I know I won't be able to.

4 mths for me. DS just never slept unless physically on my chest, so had to slowly wean him off that and move him to the cot. We basically did the Ferber method too, first 1 min, then 2, then 3. Always responded when he cried, so he knew he wasn't alone, but never picked him up, just pat pat, shush shush, etc. DS Cracked it within days, and now at 3yo is happy to climb into bed each night, we read a few books together, and then I tuck him in. Some nights he's asleep immediately, some nights he's still up talking to his stuffies an hour later, but he always settles himself. Same applies on holiday, so clearly the sleep training hasn't traumatized him at all, just taught him how to be independent manage his sleep. Again, worked for him, but I'm preggo now with DD, and she might be completely different. Each kid is different.

As I said I had to sleep train my eldest and never did my youngest, because she wasn’t fussed about me leaving the room. My eldest is a superb sleeper and goes to sleep within 2 mins of me turning out the light, my youngest will chat for up to an hour and passes out instead of going to sleep. This rubbish about harming a child if they cry, quite honestly I think co sleeping past the age of 2, needing a parent next to you and waking constantly in the night come school age is far more damaging. Sleep is a skill and gentle sleep training helps that.