Baby sleep help!

[Stacey148]

My five and a half month old sons sleep is awful!
Typical daily routine
Wakes 6ish
1st nap - 8.30ish for 30-40min usually in his pushchair during a walk
2nd nap - 12.00ish for 30-40 min
3rd nap - between 3 and 4 and 20 to 30min usually contact nap
Start bedtime routine around 6 which includes bath, change into night clothes, bottle, sing/rock and put in his cot about 6.45. He starts getting irritable and needing lots of attention from around 5 every night which gets worse and worse towards bedtime.

We have tried ferber for 10days but he is still crying for 40+ minutes every night and will start crying immediately from when he is put down in his cot until he passes out from crying. Initially his sleep improved but then he has started waking up at 10ish and then hourly after 2-3 o clock and taking longer and longer to get back to sleep.

Prior to this we were rocking him to sleep but he started to wake as soon as we put him in his cot/down and was waking up every 45min/hour and could take an hour to get back to sleep - all night long.

We are happy to co-sleep but it doesn't seem to make a difference as soon as he is put down he cries and he wakes as frequently as if he was in his cot. He sleeps in his own room as any noise me or his dad makes wakes him up if he is on our room.

His room has black out curtains, typically 20-22 degrees Celsius and has white noise playing.

I don't know what to do. I am losing hope in ferber as whilst it worked initially it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I don't know how to extend his day naps as once he wakes he is wide awake.

Any advice or recommendations would be great

You don’t need to extend his day naps. It’s unrealistic to expect a 5 month old to do long naps and also sleep through the night from very early in the evening. Lots of attention from 5pm onwards is normal.
I don’t particularly agree with cry it out at the best of times but many people who do advocate for it would still say a 5 month old is too young.
I honestly just can’t imagine persevering for 10 days if your baby is still screaming and crying to themselves for 40 minutes a night.
Babies are human, they go through better and worse sleep periods, sometimes you just need to ride it out. Sometimes they will have periods with more wakes, sometimes before illness or teeth they will be extra clingy and not go down as easily. There are all sorts of reasons.
You seem much too rigid about sleep and with babies you need to relax a bit, expecting them to always stick to a schedule and do long naps because someone else’s does isn’t reasonable.

Please don’t let your 5 month old cry and scream for 40+ minutes and pass out from crying, that’s cruel.

Can we have helpful comments please and not just judgement. This doesn't help anybody and just mom-shames to somebody who is struggling. Simple advice if you don't have anything nice say then don't say anything.

I am not rigid with his naps. I follow any sleepy cues he has and this is just a roughly typical day. Sometimes he will nap earlier if he has woken up earlier and therefore tired or other times he will stay awake for longer happily.

We have been trying ferber as rocking him to sleep in our arms was taking over two hours to get him to sleep in which he spent most of that time also crying and he was then waking 45min later and needing rocking again for another hour. This has been going on since he was 3.5 months and we are struggling and just looking for helpful ideas.

I also don't mind his daytime nap length - but has read that poor daytime naps can lead to being over tired which can then lead to a poor night.
We just want to improve his night time. I don't expect for him to sleep through but would be happy with him waking every 2-3 hours and not needing an hour soothing to get to sleep each time he wakes.