5 month old - sleep help

[Stacey148]

My five and a half month old sons sleep is awful!
Typical daily routine
Wakes 6ish
1st nap - 8.30ish for 30-40min usually in his pushchair during a walk
2nd nap - 12.00ish for 30-40 min
3rd nap - between 3 and 4 and 20 to 30min usually contact nap
Start bedtime routine around 6 which includes bath, change into night clothes, bottle, sing/rock and put in his cot about 6.45. He starts getting irritable and needing lots of attention from around 5 every night which gets worse and worse towards bedtime.

We have tried ferber for 10days but he is still crying for 40+ minutes every night and will start crying immediately from when he is put down in his cot until he passes out from crying. Initially his sleep improved but then he has started waking up at 10ish and then hourly after 2-3 o clock and taking longer and longer to get back to sleep.

Prior to this we were rocking him to sleep but he started to wake as soon as we put him in his cot/down and was waking up every 45min/hour and could take an hour to get back to sleep - all night long.

We are happy to co-sleep but it doesn't seem to make a difference as soon as he is put down he cries and he wakes as frequently as if he was in his cot. He sleeps in his own room as any noise me or his dad makes wakes him up if he is on our room.

I don't know what to do. I am losing hope in ferber as whilst it worked initially it just seems to be getting worse and worse. I don't know how to extend his day naps as once he wakes he is wide awake.

Any advice or recommendations would be great

Hi OP, how is his feeding through the day/night? How much does he have? Do you watch for wake windows or do you just wait until he falls asleep himself? What temperature is his room at night & what tog/layers is he wearing for bed? Does he have anything on in his room for sleep like white noise?

So I'll hold my hands up and say I'm totally against any form of cry it out as it's so distressing for babies (and parents), but the way I'd approach it is to go back to cosleeping but on a double mattress on the floor.

Rock him to sleep initially, and then do sit down rocking, then sit down jiggling on your chest, then lie down jiggles on your chest over a few weeks until you can get him to sleep without needing to stand or sit upright. Once asleep roll with him so that he's on his back and hover for a few seconds and then gently and slowly roll away again leaving him in position. That way he's falling asleep in the same place he will wake, and as soon as you see or hear him stirring you can give him a quick jiggle to hopefully get him straight back over (unless he needs a feed - mine fed every 1-2 hours at this age). Best of luck, lack of sleep is hard but I definitely find it easier if I don't have to get out of bed to sort them!

Sleep training does not work for every baby, it is really individual and if its not working after 2 weeks then it may not work for yours.

Sorry to say but waking at 10pm then hourly from 2-3am is completely normal for a 5mo. It is completely biologically normal for a baby to need to be supported to sleep. It can be rough.

If they are waking really frequently all night, I'd definitely recommend troubleshooting possible causes such as tongue tie, oral dysfunction, maybe try a osteopath. Mine woke every 40 minutes for the best part of a year. She was violently sick within a few minutes when we tried ferber. Had a tongue tie diagnosed when she was 1 and oral exercises did help sleep to some degree.

Are you only doing 3 naps because you are trying to follow some sort of schedule or because he doesn't need more? If he is only catnapping you might try shortening wake windows and fitting another nap in? They are all different though.

Highly recommended Lyndsey Hookway or Fox & the Moon Sleep on Instagram for advice and solidarity.

Concentrating on “wake windows” and not their actual nap, really helped change things for us.

You aren’t advised to do Ferber until 6 months

id Hold off a little longer

my little bit same age

I’m exact same - some days he’s not even napping at all it’s so stressful

I’m trying to focus on getting the routine down so I’ve been taking him to a dark room for a morning nap at 9.30 and feed to sleep and hold him for 30-45 mins

then we have lunch and I try for the big nap around 12 and again hold him and watch a show or something

I feel like then he’s at least gotten the right amount of sleep even if he is being held

my husband will try the Ferber method once he’s a few more weeks older

it worked so wick for my daughter a few years ago and she was 7 months

the naps fell into place once she slept well at night