Help! I think my 4 mo is trying to torture me…

[MumLife90]

My DS, who is also my second born, was a great sleeper doing 5-6 hours in a stretch (ok he didn’t have great naps but who cares when you’re getting that level of sleep at night) but then just over a month ago, everything went to pot!

At first it was 3-4 hour stretches, that then went down to 2-3 hour stretches and now we’re up every hour (sometimes even every 45 mins)! He's awaking our first born so I’m then starting the day at 5am (whilst DS sleeps for about another hour before he’s up for the day).

Is this normal? Am I being punished for a past life? Can you medically be both dead and alive at the same time?

In all seriousness it’s killing all of us. My poor 3 yo is very emotional because he’s not getting the sleep he needs, my 4 mo is not as happy as he used to be and I’m barely functioning. My DS is breastfed (currently having an issue with him taking a bottle) So any tips (or at this point if anyone has a contact I’m happy to look at selling my soul for longer stretches) I’d love to hear them!

I'm years past this stage but I remember googling 'can you die from sleep deprivation'. It's truly horrible for you all.
The things that helped me were using the wonder weeks app and mine were pushing teeth at that stage.
Sure you'll get more practical advice but to say that this does pass and my youngest is the most amazing sleeper now.

Thank you. Even just hearing someone say it’s going to be ok helps! I actually called the health visitor for advice too as I’m at the end and not quite sure if I have another night like last night in me 😵

“Can you medically be both dead and alive at the same time?”

this really made me laugh 🤣

we’re in the same boat OP. No advice but please let me know if you find a miracle cure for no sleep

If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry 🤣🤣

We’ve got this! And of course, if there is a cure I’ll holla at you… if you could do the same, that would be great 😊

This is so very normal for this age. I'm sorry!

Are you co sleeping? Can you start a quiet time or nap time for the 3yo in the day so you can nap when the baby does?

Can your partner take both kids for an hour or so in the morning (ie after baby's 5am feed) so you can sleep a bit longer?

Agreed, so normal. Was your first not like this? Unfortunately if not, you were lucky…

But it is so so so hard, many of us are right there with you. I think we got through it by cosleeping, learning to feed lying down (so important), and working in shifts. I’d go to bed about 8 after DC1 and feeding baby, DH would be on baby shift til midnight or so, then he’d let me lie a bit in the morning. Depending on your circumstances try to wring every last bit of sleep out of life that you can.

Unhelpful, but I think youve been lucky so far! I had a year of this with DS. The first time he slept for 5 hours straight, when he was a good bit older than yours, I woke suddenly thinking something must be seriously wrong!
You have to share the load better with your DP. He may not be able to do as much at night as you if he's working, but he can do a bit and help with household tasks and your older child so you can catch up on sleep during the time he is available. Enlist others to help if you can during the day. Does your older child go to childcare? If not, that might be an idea. He can have undisturbed playtime and naps there, and you can have some time dealing with just the baby.
'Sleep when the baby sleeps' seems impossible, but it's good advice. Remember, it will pass!