For context, DS is 2 years old (29 months) is delayed in communication and understanding and signs of ASD have been noted to HV by both us and Nursery. I say this only to note that his generalise lack of understanding would prevent more obvious solutions such as a grow clock or similar. I’m sorry this is so long.
He’s always been an early riser, an average of 5-6am everyday since turning 1 but sleeps through 90% of the time. It’s been hard but we have muddled through with keeping consistent routines and nap times.
Previous routine:
5-6 wake up (completely randomised of what time he would wake)
Milk, TV, independent play with a following snack
7:30-8: breakfast
11:30: lunch
1-3: nap window (1-2 hours sleep) would cap it past 3pm or after 2 hours sleep.
5pm dinner and bath
8pm milk and bedtime
He has only ever napped in the pushchair and would not entertain the cot for his naps at all right from birth. He never shows signs of tiredness throughout the day and if left to his own devices, he would never stop, ask for sleep or even cuddle and drift off. He needs the physical act of being pushed in the pushchair to make him sleepy and would often drift off within minutes. A rod for my own back but it’s been the only way for so long. I don’t drive so that isn’t an option and taking him out in the pushchair outside only wakes him up more.
Last week he started resisting naps with a vengeance, taking so long to get to sleep and even then would be waking early, though still clearly tired. The cot still does not work for him and after battling through last week, he has started refusing naps all together. Everything I’ve read about early wakings is often linked to daytime sleep so we rolled with it and let him go without a nap.
We’re on day 4 now of no nap and it’s been absolute hell.
Day 1: woke at 5, no nap, fell asleep standing up at half 7 after bath.
Day 2: woke at 5:30, 5 minute nap in the car, bed at 6:30, could not make it any further. 1 brief night waking. Stirring at 4am.
Day 3: woke at 5:15, no nap, bath and in bed for 7. 1 night waking.
Day 4 (today): woke at 3:45, up for the day at half 4.
His behaviour is much the same except that he’s clearly very tired.
We have reduced screen time and do not put it on in a morning now in order to make it ‘boring’ for him.
His dad is up and gone for work by quarter past 5 so no hope of alternating mornings, gets home at 6:45pm and I work 3 evenings a week until 9, meaning that super early nights are also not possible for for either him or us.
I know we have to be consistent but we were really hoping that dropping the nap would extend his waking time in a morning but so far it seems to just be making things worse. The clocks going back have only exacerbated the issues. We’ve had 2 nights of night wakings too, which I know signals over tiredness. No illness, signs of teething or any other issues that we’ve noticed.
He attends nursery 1 morning a week 9-12 and last week briefly fell asleep there, leading me to collecting him early and then he didn’t nap again after lunch.
I’m at a loss for what to do. The lack of nap means he’s chronically overtired, waking just as early and increasingly deficient in sleep, as are his parents! I struggled for a long time with severe PND and a chronic illness and I can feel how much this extended lack of sleep is affecting me and our relationship. There’s no downtime, no time to reset and I’ve never felt more exhausted.
Please can someone tell me where I’m going wrong? Thank you in advance from a very tired mum who’s trying her best.