Does anyone else have a 4 yr old going to sleep at 9

[Hodgehegsfriend]

and if so, are you ok with it? Our nearly four year old used to be a great sleeper and slept through the night when we put her down at 7. Around two our previous routine stopped working and things got slightly trickier, then at three and a half when we moved her into a toddler bed the shit hit the fan and the bedtime battles commenced . I know this is really common. Every time I think I’ve found the perfect way to get her to stay in bed, it works for a few weeks then stops. Now, mostly, she is in bed listening to audiobooks on her own from eight pm, but won’t actually sleep until 8:45- nine pm. Wakes up some time between 6:45 and 7:15.
i could write loads more about this, but for now am curious to know if anyone else’s kids do this? Or if they once did this, did they get back into an earlier bedtime by school years?

It instinctively feels far too late, but even when she is in bed by 7:30, it’s still a nine pm sleep time for her. She gets about ten hours sleep a night normally, but sometimes gets a lot less. I can’t work out if I should be somehow getting her to sleep earlier (perhaps by cutting out the audiobooks) or accept that you can’t make a non-sleepy (and very strong-willed) person go to sleep. if I take the audio books from her she will be out of bed dozens od time, demanding playtime or screaming for me to stay in her room til she sleeps.

I did until they started school

Mine did. Weren't much earlier once they were in school but they didn't generally wake till 8. Doctorate and a very good degree so far so it didn't damage them.
Some kids don't need to be asleep at 7.

Yeah mine does.

I'm not happy with it, no. I have accepted that she has "low sleep needs" (always has), but she also needs to be cuddled to sleep, and I need my evening!

Literally every child in Spain and Italy.
And no, they don’t get a siesta in the day. School often ends near to 17:00 and they have activities after. Some will come home for lunch but there isn’t time to sleep.
They generally survive.

My dd slept 11-7 before starting school. Her siblings were fast asleep by 7/8pm. She dropped her naps at 15 months
Once she started school it became 9-7 which was much better. On a lucky day it was 8:30 or 8 but usually 9pm.

I’d rather a late bedtime than waking up at 5am.

My two - never been to bed before 8:30/9pm & didn't get up before 7:30am, which was fine as I didn't work before they went to school so don't need to get them up earlier. Which was fine by us as we're both night owls and so were grateful for the relative lie ins. They both dropped their daytime naps before 18 months, so perhaps they needed less sleep than some of their friends.

Our timetable meant we could always eat together after DH got back from work / children got back from clubs. Then there were two of us to get them to bed.

By the time they were 8/9 we were eating 8:30-ish and they were going to bed between 9-10pm and they did fine on that amount of sleep throughout school. In fact, they now (Y10 & Y13) go to bed at about 10:30pm and that's earlier than most of their friends.

When they were younger we were known at the Spanish family by our friends who's kids went to bed earlier and who we could only met for lunch play dates.

Mine were- I really preferred it this way . We had some time after nursery, could eat together, play, etc, otherwise we would not have much time after work/ nursery/ school so it suited us well. They will still wake up between 6 and 7, so clearly did not need to be in bed even earlier.

Neither of mine (7 and 2) have ever really been asleep before 8:30 at the very earliest, usually closer to 9. It’s never been a problem. I’d prefer less faffing around at bedtime but they are both happy, healthy and doing well so they are obviously getting the sleep they need.