Stopping Boob to Sleep?

[Alittleknowledge]

I have a gorgeous 7 month old. Genuinely the light of my life. But he has always woken to feed a huge amount overnight I'm starting to feel physically and emotionally drained and wondering how on earth I'll cope when I've got to go back to work in the new year.

Our routine is Bath > Book > Boob (usually to sleep or drowsy)--> Sleep since 4 months.
With this he settles in the cot quickly with minimal or no fuss. I actually love the routine we have BUT:

Boob ++ overnight. Last night was a total fluke and he only woke twice (making me second guess myself), but 4 wakes is typical and he wakes 6+ times about twice a week. At its worst at the start of this month it was 10 wakes a night. He is EBF, won't take a bottle. Now in his own cot in his own room which has helped my sleep a bit. We are doing well on solids taking moderate volumes.

I've tried co-sleeping for a week and it just resulted in an all night buffet for him (I can't sleep whilst he feeds) and he kicked and pulled my hair as well so its not an option for me long term. He can settle during the day with rocking/pram/car very occasionally of his own accord.

We tried Boob > bath > book as an experiment once about 6 weeks ago but he cried hysterically in DH arms until I fed him (about 15 minutes later). DH does bath and book and will need to be able to do bedtimes when I return to shift work and won't be around for bedtime 3x weekly.

For those of you in this situation, how did you sleep train? At what age? Did you move boob earlier in the routine? Did you need to Ferber or CIO the lack of boob or did you leave dad to rock or shush to sleep?

No advice really - I'm in more or less the same boat, but with a 14 month old! Her sleep has gradually got better though. I used to feed an average of 3 times a night, but it's now more like 1-2. Last night she didn't wake at all until 4.15 (though by that time she was awake so it was a very early morning...). I feel like stopping breastfeeding would ultimately help everyone sleep better, but she loves it and would absolutely hate me stopping. I'm not sure I can bear it, so am just carrying on for the moment. So, following your thread with interest!

Hi @chickpea1982 , sorry to hear you're having a rough time too. I definitely don't want to stop breast feeding altogether and happy to feed a bit overnight, but like you, I'm struggling with the volume. The longest stretch of sleep we've had since he was born was after his 16 week vaccines (he did 6hrs) but 1.5-2.5 is his usual at the moment - and 16 weeks was a very long time ago!

Oh OP I’m in the same boat, it’s so tough isn’t it 😭 I’m just desperate for some sleep and if I hear one more person say “just” co sleep or get a sleep consultant I’m going to lose it 😅

It's really hard isn't it. Logically, I know that if I broke the feed-to-sleep association, she'd probably sleep much better on her own and we'd all be happier, but I literally cannot bear her crying whilst knowing I could stop it in an instant if I just fed her. My mum suggested that I go stay the night at her house so that my husband could do the settling, but even that feels like too much. If it's any comfort, her sleep has gradually got better and better as she's got older. But it was very difficult for a long time, so I have a lot of sympathy for you.

One thing that helped us was having my husband try to settle her sometimes. It doesn't always work, but it often does, and that helped me get longer stretches of sleep and at least partially broke the feed-to-sleep association. I think I assumed that she always needed me to get her back to sleep, but she didn't really - sometimes just having my husband put her back down and shush her, with some white noise, was enough.

x

@mumtoababygirl co-sleeping is one of those things that seems to work well for some people but definitely was worse for us overall and I gave it a full week. Less crying but much more awake time! I do occasionally use it to re-settle him in the early morning (between 05.30-06.30) but we must both need our space.

I was in exactly the same situation. About a month before I was due back in work, I'd do the last feed of the day in the living room and made sure he didn't fall asleep. I'd then hand him over to my DP who would put him in bed. Over night, DP would go on to him and give him a cuddle/replace dummy etc. DS adapted quickly, i think it only took a few nights. I continued to BF him for another 6 months in the day.

Thanks @CrunchySnow that’s reassuring! Did that change to the living room cause meltdowns or was it relatively stress free?

DS didn't seem to care, he was quite a cruisey baby though. I didn't go back to shift work after DD was born, I think she would have had a lot more to say about the matter!

@CrunchySnow Really pleased to hear you had an easy time of it.

Hopefully there'll be a few other folks along to share their experiences of having done similar as well.