My baby just wont sleep

[Shanski]

My baby is 12 weeks and since about 7 weeks its impossible to get him to sleep in his crib and not with me. Even in the day he wont nap unless I hold him. I'm worried he is super overtired, I am booked in to see someone about it next week. Just wondering if anyone has any tips. At night we keep the room almost dark and have white noise. I'm struggling to be a good mom and partner. In the day and at night the only way he will get a good amount of sleep is with co sleeping which I don't really feel comfortable doing. He kinda sleeps if I take him out in the pram but will keep waking and looking around, the moment I get to our front door he wakes up, I've tried keeping him in the pram once inside and moving it forward and back but it doesn't seem to work. He will not take a dummy. The only way to settle him back to sleep once awake is feeding but he is can be up for an hour and half which I've heard makes them hard to settle down again but thats how long he takes to feed. I have considered formula but I had my heart set on breastfeeding. I find as he wont settle without me during the day pumping is difficult or I would try that as the few times I managed to it has worked settle him faster and quicker. My partner isnt the best at helping and always seem busy with uni work and his part time work.

Just bumping for you as I am sure there are many of us remember how difficult it is when you aren't getting any sleep with a newborn.

I'm sure there are MNers who can help.

I'm in exactly the same boat. My little girl woll only sleep on me. I'm so sleepy deprived and nothing works. White noise, swaddling, dummies, nothing.

From my own experience, I would just sleep with baby and when baby needs to. My eldest, now 10, would not sleep unless she rested her head on my shoulder. She was diagnosed with silent reflux and a mild milk allergy. Perhaps look into this with your baby but as long as you are practicing safe sleeping with baby you'll be fine. Good luck x

So I have been asked to give up dairy for 2 weeks it has seemed to help with spitting up and looking uncomfortable on the breast. I'm 5 days in atm, he also has gavison which i give at night x

My partner is very against co sleeping, but eventually I end up doing it anyway just so we both get sleep. Its a last resort though x

But surely to cosleep safely they can't be on you? Being near me isn't enough. My baby will only sleep held.

Safe co-sleeping was the only thing that worked for me. Your baby sounds just like mine. We were all better off when everyone got rest. Mothers have always slept with their babies. Sorry partner thinks differently but he's not breastfeeding nor did he carry baby. Trust your momma instincts.

Actually at three months, they haven't yet adapted to circadian rythms yet so don't yet know the difference between night and day. Don't try to impose a routine, just sleep when your baby sleeps and feed on demand, screw housework and routines.

I would advise agains co sleeping because risk of SIDS is highest around four months. Maybe get someone else to take the baby out for an hour or so in the pram after a feed, and you rest. Is baby breast or bottle fed? If combination feeding let someone else, your partner, a friend or relative do a feed so you can just sleep for a few hours.

Good luck.

If you do co sleep never do it on a sofa and make sure you follow the guidelines

Hes breast fed but I'm trying to pump and bottle feed now but I'm finding it hard to get the routine hes normally crying to be fed and pumping hasnt finished and what I have doesn't keep him happy so end up breastfeeding

Why are you bottle feeding? Do you need to, it's incredibly hard work and is not as effective as boosting supply as necessary as the baby is? If he needs to have a bottle when you aren't there just give formula, if you are there just bf.

Sleep with baby, bf can sleep elsewhere spare room / camp bed / sofa for a little while if he doesn't want to cosleep.

Hi there it's a midwife with breastfeeding support group experience plus a mother of 2 children. I suggest you get Baby Wisperer Solves All Your Problems book (2nd edition with the yellow cover). Ignore her breastfeeding advice, the rest of the book is excellent. She has different sleep techniques for different ages. The one for a 12 weeks baby is pp. 181-184 I believe. (I will try to find the book when I get home). My 2nd baby was almost exactly as you described. Baby Wisperer methods saved me from a mental and physical breakdown on 2 occasions, highlyrecommend. I am not quite sure from your post why are you pumping?

I think for naps you might just have to accept it, my DD never slept in her cot, only the pram or on me and the pram had to be constantly moving. I think this is fairly normal for some babies and he's so young you might just have to go with it.

If you co-sleep will he settle? It might be worth just doing that for the time being. Have you tried swaddling? This was a life saver for us

Just noticed this message. Baby Wisperer suggests the routine based on baby's feeding/sleeping cues rather than the clock. Ignore her breastfeeding advice, the rest of the book is excellent. I exclusively breastfed both my children, still used her advice for sleep problems. 2nd edition with the yellow cover is definitely better in my opinion. Sending hugs

But safe cosleeping doesn't cause SIDS?

Thank you I will look into that book. I'm pumping so that my bf can do feeds for me to give me a break, also he settles faster and quicker when using a bottle so would be good for night, I also thought he may get a bigger feed making him go longer periods at night

I don't want to use formula nothing against it or people who do but I'm set on him having breastmilk. Formula is also quite expensive

Mine was like this from 5 weeks she's 20 weeks now but up until maybe 4 weeks ago would only contact nap and being rocked and walked around the room to sleep I was exhausted , I'm a FTM so I think I created a lot of it by not knowing better if that makes sense I just kept doing more and more to get her to sleep until that's what she expected also I started using the huckleberry app and watching her wake windows (I had no clue about wake windows l) I think half my problem was she wasn't tired enough when I was trying to get her to sleep. I will say I do all naps at home I'm kind of traumatised as I could never get her to sleep anywhere else especially not the car but I'm in the middle of doing sleep well with Hannahs calm sleep course with her and she is already 1000% times better sleeps in her crib or next to me in bed has even started to self settle the last day or two . It's like night and day 4 weeks ago I was on the verge of a melt down .