Stopping co-sleeping with 2yo

[Itcantbethemilkman]

My 2yo (just two) starts the bed in his cot and wakes anywhere from 2-4 hours usually later and generally then sleeps in our bed. Once on our bed he might stir in the night but sleeps through. Bedtime is 7-7.30, he wakes between 5-6 usually. Naps at home usually 1hr max, usually longer at nursery.

We night weaned, then sleep trained at around a year. But back to back illnesses from nov-feb last year unravelled it all and we've been cuddling/holding his hand to sleep ever since, and bringing him into our bed - mainly out of sheer exhaustion and not wanting to repeat sleep training.

Consistent bedtime routine but he doesn't self settle. As above, he is either cuddled to sleep on a chair or we hold his hand. He likes a LOT of physical contact to sleep, even in bed he needs to almost lie on me sometimes.

Where do we start?! It was 'working' as manageable but he's too big for any of us to sleep ok now.

Back to sleep training it is then.

That's unless you want to wait until he starts school (or later) and doesn't want to sleep with you.

Sleep training in terms of cc methods now not as 'straightforward' as he can - if he is upset - climb out of the cot. Do you have other sleep training ideas for an older child?

I didn't sleep train mainly because DD would simply climb out of her cot. Then when she transferred to a bed she would just climb out of it in the early hours. So I waited until my DD got school age and put her back in her bed every single time she left it for a week.

To be fair by the time my DD was 2 I had worked with some parents who had issues getting their 3-5 year olds to self settle and stay in their own beds. Some of them had resorted to sleeping on their kids room floor to get them to stay in their bed.

I got a super king and problem solved. Toddlers came in my bed from whenever they (individually) woke in their beds in their rooms. Pretty much then slept through until 7-8.

And up until that point you co-slept? Did you DD self settle at bedtime or did you tackle that at school age?

We don't have room for a super king, sadly. I'm not against co-sleeping. We've gone it this long! I'm also not against sleep training. I feel you have to do what works for you as a family, until it doesn't work. And then you reassess. That's where we are at just looking for any insight from anyone who has tried to change sleep habits at this age as most advice out there seems for 6-12 month olds.

Ah OK. In that case can you get a bigger bed in the children's room? Or have you read about habit stacking for sleep support for toddlers, not babies?

If you want to sleep train again then put him in a bed with a guard and fit a stairgate on his door- you can get extra tall ones designed with dogs in mind but they also work for climbing toddlers. If you don’t then get him a double or small double depending on the size of the room and plan to sleep with him during wakes and hope that the wakes become less frequent with age- doing it that way means he gets used to staying in his bed and everyone has enough space as there aren’t 3 of you in one bed! As you say it’s really what works best for you and your family.

We got dd a toddler bed and she trotted in to us when she woke, sometimes before her dad even got to bed, she stopped by herself but might have been at school

Until she started school.

We put her back in her bed for about a week and she was tired enough to stay there instead of getting up in the early hours and coming to us.