Newborn sleep (or lack thereof!)

HannahB264 · 2024-10-20T06:24:43+00:00

I know newborns have no body clocks and that they are supposed to wake frequently, however, my husband and I are struggling with nights with our 2 weeks old. He is content and sleeps relatively well throughout the day, but of a night, he is waking up every hour and will only sleep on me or my husband. He settles best on my husband but can be quite fussy when sleeping on me. Is this because I am breastfeeding? Any tips on how to make the nights slightly easier or to help our baby sleep longer? I am currently getting 2.5-3 hours sleep a night ...

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Crazyeight · 20/10/2024 07:29

2.5-3 hours is good ime! At 2 weeks he's likely wanting to cluster feed and will do so for every weeks while he is increasing your supply. Every hour is definitely very normal.

Theres not much you can do about the baby, you and DH need to adjust. DH needs to take the baby for an hour or two in the evening/early morning to let you get more sleep. You reciprocate if he's been holding baby all night.

Definitely co-sleep because you can just roll over, boob out and go back to sleep.

NatMoz · 20/10/2024 07:33

My sister in law has the same issue with her 4 month old. She says she sees every hour on the clock in the night. I think your body adapts and gets used to it.

You and your husband have to take it in turns. Formula might help?

Haroldwilson · 20/10/2024 07:33

Sleeping on you sounds suboptimal in terms of safety. I'd look up lullaby trust co sleeping rules and follow those, feed on your side.

It's way too easy for a baby on your chest to slip if you fall asleep.

If that works for you, you can also feed in bed during the day and nod off yourself safely.

You might also feed baby then hand to your partner early evening and get a few hours without the baby around.

This is insanely hard, you just have to get through it as if it was a polar expedition or something!

AnotherNC22 · 20/10/2024 07:36

It's such a tricky time. Right now, baby will be busy cluster feeding all night to boost your supply. Is DH on paternity leave? If so, give him baby in the day to hold, resettle, change etc so you can get some daytime sleep to make up for the nights. Make sure baby is getting exposed to natural light to help learn the day / night difference. Cosleeping wasn't for me so we had a swaddle bag plus white noise machine to help baby settle as well. 2.5-3hrs a night isn't sustainable for long so grab help whenever you can - family etc - so you can try and get some cat naps. Both of mine started doing longer stretches quite early on so fingers crossed this is the case for you as well.

TookTheBook · 20/10/2024 07:37

2 weeks is extremely young and it's probably a growth spurt and cluster feeding. Babies do this more at night. Breastfeeding is easier for this than formula if you ask me as boob is always ready on demand! You and your DH need to sleep/rest in shifts.

Original poster

HannahB264 · 20/10/2024 07:41

AnotherNC22 · 20/10/2024 07:36

It's such a tricky time. Right now, baby will be busy cluster feeding all night to boost your supply. Is DH on paternity leave? If so, give him baby in the day to hold, resettle, change etc so you can get some daytime sleep to make up for the nights. Make sure baby is getting exposed to natural light to help learn the day / night difference. Cosleeping wasn't for me so we had a swaddle bag plus white noise machine to help baby settle as well. 2.5-3hrs a night isn't sustainable for long so grab help whenever you can - family etc - so you can try and get some cat naps. Both of mine started doing longer stretches quite early on so fingers crossed this is the case for you as well.

DH is on paternity and is doing so much for us all /m- he's amazing. We're taking shifts at night, but that won't be able to happen when he goes back to work.
I'm managing to get little naps during the day, but still absolutely exhausted!
Hoping to get a little routine going soon, for me more than anything else

OP posts:

Thumberline · 20/10/2024 07:47

I remember this well. I used to give in and give 20/30ml of formula at around 3/4am to try and get a couple of solid hours. I know some mums are determined their baby will never have formula though so might not be an option for you. I agree with lots of daytime walks even if baby is sleeping.

TookTheBook · 20/10/2024 08:06

HannahB264 · 20/10/2024 07:41

DH is on paternity and is doing so much for us all /m- he's amazing. We're taking shifts at night, but that won't be able to happen when he goes back to work.
I'm managing to get little naps during the day, but still absolutely exhausted!
Hoping to get a little routine going soon, for me more than anything else

Show quote history

You're doubly exhausted as your body is recovering from pregnancy and labour and establishing breastfeeding. Prioritise rest. It's good to have a loose routine of sorts for instance a shower before DH leaves for work, get out with the baby after lunch (or whenever), but in these first few months the baby won't have a fixed routine and will thrive if fed on demand, however varied that looks.

TopshopCropTop · 20/10/2024 08:13

Thumberline · 20/10/2024 07:47

I remember this well. I used to give in and give 20/30ml of formula at around 3/4am to try and get a couple of solid hours. I know some mums are determined their baby will never have formula though so might not be an option for you. I agree with lots of daytime walks even if baby is sleeping.

Can we please stop encouraging BF mums of newborn babies to offer formula. It is so detrimental for BF and you end up stuck in a “top up trap” of having to give that formula because you don’t have a supply.

The first 6 weeks are really tricky OP. Your baby is trying to build your milk supply and will be cluster feeding in the evening. I remember it so well with both of mine (youngest is 8mo now).

Top tips would be

taking shifts with your Dh when you can
lots of snacks and fluids during cluster feeding
if you can sleep during the day at all do it
get out with the baby for fresh air
feed on demand as much as possible to build that supply!
ditch all housework and other activities, feed the baby and yourself and don’t worry about anything else

After 6 weeks it gets so so much easier. You’re doing a great job so keep going and congrats on your little one!

TookTheBook · 20/10/2024 08:16

Thumberline · 20/10/2024 07:47

I remember this well. I used to give in and give 20/30ml of formula at around 3/4am to try and get a couple of solid hours. I know some mums are determined their baby will never have formula though so might not be an option for you. I agree with lots of daytime walks even if baby is sleeping.

I don't understand how this gets anyone more sleep? It's a myth that formula makes babies sleep longer by the way.

Crazyeight · 20/10/2024 08:42

There was research done by Swansea university that followed ff and bf mums and there was no difference in sleeping. Formula won't fix this. A 2 year old baby needs to wake and feed. It's shit but that's just how it is.

You will sleep again, but it might be when your baby is 4 years old. I used to give up and just watch box sets all night!

Thumberline · 20/10/2024 09:26

TookTheBook · 20/10/2024 08:16

I don't understand how this gets anyone more sleep? It's a myth that formula makes babies sleep longer by the way.

Show quote history

I think they cluster feed to increase milk supply so when they have a bottle of formula it must give the feeling they have increased the supply. It’s just what I did, I managed to breastfeed my first until two years and my second until 15 months with no formula after 6 weeks as they both refused. That said my husband didn’t have any time off work so I didn’t have anyone to help hold the baby in the early weeks so I just tried lots of different things to try and stretch the sleep.