Coping without sleep

PlumZebra · 2024-10-12T00:38:47+00:00

I can't cope without sleep any more... It's making me so down and I just end up crying all the time. I have to go back to work and I'm exhausted. Does anyone have any advice on how to cope without sleep? (I've tried all the practical solutions already - HV says baby's sleep won't improve without sleep training but I'm not willing to let him cry for hours, mh team say my MH is fine and won't help, baby won't let anyone else settle him day or night)

Libre2 · 12/10/2024 01:43

ooof yuck @PlumZebra I hear you. Do you have anyone who could babysit for a night to give you a break? Are you a single parent?

For what it’s worth it does get better but I realise that is not much consolation when you are in the middle of it.

SociallyAwkwardOverthinker · 12/10/2024 01:45

Its exhausting isnt it, the thought of the lack of sleep is what puts me off when I get broody 😅

It's not the same at all, but I've struggled with insomnia lately and I came across the 30-90 rule which is basically napping for under 30 mins or over 90 mins so we dont feel rubbish off such little sleep

I tried it the other day, it got to around 7am and I needed to be up at 7:30 for the kids so I had a 25 minute nap and then stayed up for the rest of the day, I felt okay tbh, felt fatigued towards the end of the day but that's to be expected

So no proper advice sorry, but might be worth trying to have small 20-25 minute naps when you can to try and get through this rough patch x

Edingril · 12/10/2024 01:48

Thry have given you a solution but you don't want it so not sure what else they can do?

BibbityBobbityToo · 12/10/2024 01:49

I remember putting baby in their buggy in the living room and I slept on the sofa with the buggy next to my face. Baby was happy as they could see me, we held hands etc.

Not ideal but it did give me one precious nights sleep.

What are your circumstances and what is the usual routine?

nancy75 · 12/10/2024 02:05

Have you tried a white noise machine? I dismissed it as a daft idea but amazingly they really can work.
put it on when you are settling the baby & let him get used to associating the noise with sleep, hopefully it will help him self settle ( you don’t actually need a machine, just a YouTube of the noise will do)

teaandkittehs · 12/10/2024 13:08

Sleep training doesn't always involve crying for hours. First night for us took 12 minutes of crying in total, we went back to comfort her every couple minutes, she then didn't wake for 7 hours. Night 2 she was asleep in 7 minutes with us comforting her every couple of minutes again and then leaving the room once she stopped crying, and she slept 9 hours. Night 3, asleep in 3 minutes, visited her once to comfort, slept all night. Slept all night 95% of the time from then (6.5 months) until hitting the 18 month sleep regression recently like a tonne of bricks, coming out of it now luckily! A few hiccups when she had nap transitions etc but always solved quickly. When we decided to sleep train, the very next question we asked ourselves was how long are you prepared to let them cry before you go back and see them. My friend left it 17 minutes (a strange amount of time to choose but it worked for her!) But we decided a couple of minutes was enough for us. If it hadn't have worked then we would have given up after a few days as you almost always see improvement by day 3. If it had not worked, I was going to end up on antidepressants so we decided a few days of trying sleep training was better than months of a clinically depressed and medicated mum. Sleep training is not for everyone but you can choose how to do it and it saved our sanity and gave us and our baby the sleep and rest we all needed.

Original poster

PlumZebra · 12/10/2024 14:47

teaandkittehs · 12/10/2024 13:08

Sleep training doesn't always involve crying for hours. First night for us took 12 minutes of crying in total, we went back to comfort her every couple minutes, she then didn't wake for 7 hours. Night 2 she was asleep in 7 minutes with us comforting her every couple of minutes again and then leaving the room once she stopped crying, and she slept 9 hours. Night 3, asleep in 3 minutes, visited her once to comfort, slept all night. Slept all night 95% of the time from then (6.5 months) until hitting the 18 month sleep regression recently like a tonne of bricks, coming out of it now luckily! A few hiccups when she had nap transitions etc but always solved quickly. When we decided to sleep train, the very next question we asked ourselves was how long are you prepared to let them cry before you go back and see them. My friend left it 17 minutes (a strange amount of time to choose but it worked for her!) But we decided a couple of minutes was enough for us. If it hadn't have worked then we would have given up after a few days as you almost always see improvement by day 3. If it had not worked, I was going to end up on antidepressants so we decided a few days of trying sleep training was better than months of a clinically depressed and medicated mum. Sleep training is not for everyone but you can choose how to do it and it saved our sanity and gave us and our baby the sleep and rest we all needed.

Edited

Thanks so much for the detailed thoughtful answer.

Unfortunately I have tried sleep training already and he cried the moment he was put in the cot for 20 minutes while I comforted him in the cot. He didn't get close to sleeping or even stopping crying.

OP posts:

Original poster

PlumZebra · 12/10/2024 14:48

SociallyAwkwardOverthinker · 12/10/2024 01:45

Its exhausting isnt it, the thought of the lack of sleep is what puts me off when I get broody 😅

It's not the same at all, but I've struggled with insomnia lately and I came across the 30-90 rule which is basically napping for under 30 mins or over 90 mins so we dont feel rubbish off such little sleep

I tried it the other day, it got to around 7am and I needed to be up at 7:30 for the kids so I had a 25 minute nap and then stayed up for the rest of the day, I felt okay tbh, felt fatigued towards the end of the day but that's to be expected

So no proper advice sorry, but might be worth trying to have small 20-25 minute naps when you can to try and get through this rough patch x

Thank you! I've got half hour lunches at work so I can try a 20 mins catnap then ❤️

OP posts:

teaandkittehs · 12/10/2024 18:55

PlumZebra · 12/10/2024 14:47

Thanks so much for the detailed thoughtful answer.

Unfortunately I have tried sleep training already and he cried the moment he was put in the cot for 20 minutes while I comforted him in the cot. He didn't get close to sleeping or even stopping crying.

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Ah fair enough. I knew we had experienced an easy ride with it compared to some others. I really hope things improve for you soon xx