Before DS2 started nursery in September (aged 16m) he had been sleeping through the night in his cot pretty consistently for the previous 3-4 months, and he'd been able to self settle at the start of the night for a good 9 months.
I was thrilled as I was getting a good 8 hours sleep a night for the first time in years (DS1 never learned to self settle and hated his cot, so we co-slept).
A few weeks into nursery (where he goes 2 full days a week) DS2 suddenly stopped being able to self settle. I put it down to a tummy bug both boys had at the time it started, but the bug is long over and 3 weeks later DS2 still refuses to go to sleep without the boob. It could also be separation anxiety as this is the first time he's been cared for by strangers. He is also cared for by my MIL 2 days per week.
His bedtime used to be 19:00 pre-sleep regression, but he's often not asleep until 19:45/20:00 now, and then he wakes at 22:00ish and I cannot get him back in his cot. I've tried feeding him to sleep after the night wakings then holding him for a further 10, 15, or 20 minutes and then gently trying to lay him back in his cot but he was every time! So he's been sleeping in my bed most of the night, but even there he still wakes up and wants the boob back to sleep and is taking ages to drift back off.
I did do some gentle sleep training with DS2 when he was 6-7 months and he picked up self settling really quickly. Prior to this regression, if he did fuss he would usually do it just lying down in his cot, where he'd toss and turn and winge for about 10-15 minutes then drop off to sleep. But at the moment he is standing up in his cot, holding onto the bars and screaming as hard as he can to the point where he is very sweaty when I go to comfort him.
I've been gradually increasing the time I leave him to settle each night, starting at 5 minutes and up to 30 so far, but he has shown no signs of stopping the screaming and I'm feeling really guilty about leaving him to cry for so long when he's so distressed.
I just wondered if anyone has experienced a similar sleep regression and if so, how you overcame it?
I don't know if I should just be providing all the comfort he needs whilst he settles in at nursery, or if I should be sticking with his previous routine and letting him try to self settle? It might be relevant to note that he is self settling for naps when he's at nursery and with my MIL, but not for me at naptime on my days off or for bedtime. It's only ever been me who does his bedtime, as my OH does DS1's whilst I do DS2's.