Newborn trenches

[renegade95]

So I’m a first time mum and I’m really struggling with sleep deprivation and my newborn being awake for most of the night. She is 2 weeks old and in the first week she was sleeping really well, waking every 2 hours for a feed and I was able to put her down immediately after feeding and she would be conked out until she got hungry again. Now we’re going into week three and she struggles to settle at all at night. I’m lucky if I get 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep and she is wide awake from around 2/3am onwards. Whenever I put her down she either wakes up or goes into active sleep where she is just grunting etc and it keeps me awake.
My partner is unable to help with night feeds as I am exclusively breastfeeding so it’s down to me to wake up for feeds etc.
Does anyone have any tips on what I can do to settle her inbetween feeds?

Congratulations on your new arrival. Feed her, wake partner, hand over baby, get some sleep. He may not be able to feed her, but he can cuddle her while you get some rest.

This stage is a battlefield and it's no wonder you're struggling, most people do. Try and get DH to do all the settling so you can just do the feeding and then get sleep before the next feed.

Sometimes rocking quite vigorously works, or contact napping (where they nap against yours or his body for comfort) but these are time intensive and don't allow for much sleep.

At this age I'm not sure what you can do, but I just wanted to offer some solidarity as it really is a tough time and I think naturally almost everyone struggles with no sleep.

Yup this. Partner does all the night nappy changes.

Be mindful that we're coming into cold season so check baby isn't too cold (but don't let them overheat)!

And read up on safe co-sleeping so you can try and 'breast-sleep' to maximise shut eye. It's not everyone's cup of tea though.

Try and nap at least once in the day if you can too!

Remember the days are long but the weeks and months go fast.

Congratulations on your newborn!

Yep just because you breastfeed doesnt mean he cant do anything. He can also do nappy change.

I'd also look at what baby is sleeping in. I fOund love2dream swaddle Sacks (they zip up) amazing for helping settle both mine but it is potluck to some degree.
You can get them for a few pounds on vinted to try them and resell when done.

At this age with my first i basically gave the baby to my dh when he walked in the door and went to bed with earplugs from 6/7pm - midnight he'd bring me the baby if hungry and later on he'd give an expressed bottle.

They move to more of a pattern with 3-5 hr gaps soonish so hang in there.
In the day as soon as baby sleeps lie down. do not make a tea, get.ypur phone out, "quickly" do X, dont do ANYTHING! go straight to bed

I expressed from 3 weeks so my partner could give her a bottle feed so i could get up to 4 hours sleep. She took the bottle easily though and I'm not sure all babies do!

This is normal. By week 3, babies are often out of the post birth, permanently asleep phase. They become a bit more alert and awake and hence become a lot more difficult to put down. Nobody prepared me for how noisy and active newborns are when they are finally asleep as well! Agree with PPs. Tag team with partner and accept you are going to feel pretty sleep deprived for some time to come. It’ll pass.

My partner would take the baby and change them, I’d feed them and if they didn’t go to sleep he'd pace up and down the hall with them until they did/were sleepy enough to have another feed which would usually put them in a deep sleep. Also, in the daytime leave your baby with your partner after a feed and try to get some sleep!

Yes, the joy of week three!

Go to bed early i.e 7pm. Leave her with your partner for cuddles/sleep/pacing and get him to bring her in for feeds until midnight when presumably he'll need to go to bed. Learn how to feed lying down so you are minimally disturbed and then get him to do the nappy changes etc

1. Simple Night Routine: Try a quick routine—diaper change, feed, swaddle, and then place her down. Dim the lights and keep things calm to signal sleep time.
2. Use Swaddling & White Noise: Swaddling can make her feel secure, and white noise mimics the womb, which may help her settle down and sleep deeper.
3. Respond Minimally to Noises: Newborns often grunt or move in their sleep. Try not to respond to every sound unless she’s fully awake. She may settle herself back to sleep.
4. Take Care of Yourself: Remember to squeeze in some “me time” when possible! Consider brief relaxation activities like watching a short show, playing a mobile 101 games, or just enjoying a few quiet minutes. This can help recharge you mentally.

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