If your newborn wouldn’t be put down to sleep at first, how old were they when they did finally go down? 😮‍💨

[Decaffe]

DS is two weeks tomorrow and sometimes I feel like he’s the only baby in the world who won’t settle in the Moses basket or Snuzpod/next to me crib. In the hospital I remember being astonished seeing all the other babies in the ward in the plastic cots whereas DS just wanted to be held.

On the advice of the midwife, we started co-sleeping last week which has helped save our sanity, but ideally I do want him to sleep in his own crib!

Please, if your newborn was the same, let me know what helped get them to settle on their own and how long it took? As much as I adore the cuddles, and totally understand he needs the attachment, DH will be going back to work soon and I simply won’t be able to function having to hold him all day and night long.

(Things we have tried: light, noise, hot water bottle, reflux bar, swaddle, half swaddle, patting, soothers, rocking, gro bag, Sleepyhead, etc… he isn’t having any of it…)

Both of mine were about 10 months before they would nap off me. During the day they napped in a sling while I dog walked or I watched telly and they slept on me. At night we bedshared and I breastfed lying down following safe sleep guidelines so they would roll onto their back when they finished and there was no way I could roll forward onto them.

Once fed, I just put mine in the cot.

You need to wait ten minutes by the clock before you pick your baby up again. The vast majority of babies will fall asleep by the end of the ten minutes.

Sling during the day and then cosleep/breastsleep during the night. Slowly they grow more independent and could pop them down for longer. I found mine could be put down awake in the day so I could do bits and pieces faster than when they were asleep

Please don't feel pressured to do this @Decaffe . It's cruel. Babies are programmed to need to be held.

By 12 weeks things were much better for us at night. Just consistently putting down in a Moses basket and then accepting from 4am onwards it was in with us as safely as I could do. Naps took a bit longer to sort - pushchair had to be moving or naps on me (or very very short ones in a crib!) but it slowly improved and by 9 months was a decent napper. I did keep trying at things like naps in pushchairs etc mainly so I wasn’t always holding a baby. Hang in there - it really does get better quicker!

DS1 the first few weeks at did shift work - 4 hours each of holding him. By 3 weeks he was having stretches in the cot.

DS2 was much worse. Cosleeping was not the miracle cure I wanted it to be, but cosleeping safely was better for me than falling asleep in an unsafe position. DP spent a lot of months holding him for the first bit of the night so I got one uninterrupted stretch of sleep.

My daughter would only sleep in her snuzpod if I left the side down so I could settle her with my arm
around her. Once she was asleep I had to slowly extract my arm and (if that didn’t wake her) I could get some sleep. Not a great solution but I found it more relaxing than cosleeping. When she got bigger we took the side off of her cot and turned it into a giant snuzpod until she was finally able to settle alone. During the day she only slept on/next to me, in the pram or in the car.

I’m aware that may all sound ridiculous to some but we also tried a lot of techniques and nothing worked so we went for what got us the most sleep.

You haven’t met my son 😅

Christ, don't do this with your two week old! If cosleeping is working well then you can practice rolling away and leaving baby asleep in the safe sleep place for naps?

Day time, no idea. Fairly old but I embraced the contact naps. Night time I don’t know but older than two weeks, it’s a complete blur but it passes. If it makes you feel better, my first wanted to be held none stop for those first few weeks and eventually ended up a great sleeper. By youngest has been happy in the crib since night two but at 17 months old is now a terrible sleeper. Try to split the nights with your other half even when he goes back to work, unless he is a lorry driver or a surgeon etc.

I actually can’t remember…I do remember though that I used to go to bed at 7 and my husband did the 7 to 12 shift so that I could get some sleep. It didn’t always result in 5 hours sleep but I got a fair chunk and it was revolutionary. Good luck and thinking of you.

DS point blank refused to sleep anywhere other than on me for about 8 months. I was terrified to co-sleep but it was the best thing I ever did, I was utterly miserable until I embraced it. For the next 2 DCs I just co-slept from the off and it's been a much nicer journey. If co-sleeping works I'd just go with it for a while until you're through the really early days - they feel like an eternity when you're in them but then all of a sudden you'll find yourself through it (and onto the next challenge!)

Dd2 would only sleep on someone for the first 3 weeks. Dh and I were shattered and to be honest we couldn'tcarrynon, as we had dd to get to school and he was ending paternity leave. I got some coleif and gave that to her with feeds (can't remember how uou give it, but basically followed the directions on the box). I started putting her in the moses basket sooner after a feed, once she was deeply asleep and while I didn't leave her to ever fully cry, I did leave her if she was just whining slightly so see if she would settle herself. I also picked her up to.comfort her but then put her back down awake when she was settled. About 5 days of this and she was mush more settled on her own. She didn't sleep through til 18 months (bf baby so woke to feed especially once I was back at work) but after those first 3 weeks was definitely our better sleeper.

Just looked through my camera roll, looks by about 12 weeks, daytime sleep in particular was happening in places other than on me. It really is hard OP, my partner had 4 weeks off but we still did shifts when he went back to work as it is impossible for one parent to do it all when you can’t put baby down. We stayed in the same room but off duty parent had a sleep mask and ear plugs! Worked a treat.

I didn’t do any co-sleeping and my DD was sleeping through the night (11-6) from about 2 months in a Moses basket in our room. Nights gradually lengthened, we shifted to a cot when she started to roll, and she was reliably sleeping 7-7 from 6 months or so. All babies are different though, so much depends on their temperament.

Ds1 was about 4 weeks when he could be put down in his basket next to the bed, when he woke usually just bum taps and shhing settled unless it was a feed due. Day time he was a contact napper and we kind of laid on the sofa with him and disentangled ourselves then moved him into his moses basket.

Ds2 on the other hand, is almost 9 months and going back to work has helped me to stop the daytime contact naps, although I'm fairly certain he naps in both grandmothers arms when they have him 🤣 he starts the night in his cot, but is usually in bed sleeping as safely as possible with me and dh from 1am ish

I wouldn't ever leave a newborn for 10 minutes screaming itself to exhausted sleep!!! What horrific advice.

Mine slept on me or their dad for months. Could be put down in a basket/ bed/ etc once asleep from a few months. And then only for maybe an hour tops! Otherwise it was in slings/arms/ co-sleeping.

Mine never slept in prams or the car when tiny. I did pick them up at the smallest whimper though- maybe I was too soft!

Sleep trained at 7/8months and both got it in 2 days. Cot napped until 2.5, for hours on end and would happily go to bed awake and drift off. Never left them alone, did Lucy wolfes methos of stay and support. I night weaned at the same time and they slept through from the first week.

Bad news, about 2? Or at least coslept some of the night. Mine were both dreadful sleepers that laughed in the face of any sleep training. Ha ha ha put them in the cot for 10 minutes.

But your baby is 2 weeks old. They don't know they are a baby born in 2024 in a nice safe house. As far as they know they are a cave baby who will be eaten by a wolf if they are abandoned. That's why they won't sleep on their own; they're literally programmed to make sure you keep them on or next to you continually. If co sleeping is working roll with it and look up the 4th trimester during which all bets are totally off for anything.

Oh they never cot napped either, only sling or buggy, but that suited us as we were out and about a lot.

Four kids, not a single one of them slept a fucking night in a crib or cot 😭😭

After I have birth to number four in my litany of shit sleepers I had totally relaxed into cosleeping. Don’t fight it is my advice. It’s not forever and although I obviously prefer getting eight hours, gosh, I miss it now they’re all much older.

Sleep in a t-shirt until it is stinky and milky. Wrap it around a hot water bottle / radiator / stuff it under your duvet for a bit.
Use it as a cot sheet layer under your bb head in their crib - they love the warm stinky smell of you.
This might help a bit when they're older.
Oh, and swaddling.