HELP!

[Rose1999]

PLEASE can I have some advice on tried and tested ways to encourage my 9 month old to sleep in her own cot? PLEASE 😵‍💫

Have a look at sleep well with Hannah I'm going through her book at the moment . She is also doing free workshops / Facebook lives at the moment . A lot of people seem to have great success with her I was attracted to her because of a recommendation on here but also her qualifications she isn't just one of these self appointed "sleep experts"

Tell us a bit more about the issue. Where does she want to sleep? Will she sleep in it at all, but wake up? Or not at all?

My daughter used to sleep in her cot (which is next to my bed) and wake up 1-2 hourly. About two months ago, her wakings increased and she started to cry in her cot. I'd never leave her to cry it out but I used to see if she'd stop after a minute or so but she just became inconsolable very very quickly.
So in the early hours, I'd bring her into my bed and she would sleep.

She soon got to the stage where she would cry and cry as soon as she was placed in her cot. Inconsolable. So we now co-sleep, very reluctantly on my part. She doesn't sleep great in my bed either and seems to be restless all night. I barely sleep a wink.

She's never napped in her cot once. She either contact naps or naps in the car or her pushchair.

At night, she sleeps in my arms before I go up to bed myself where I transfer her to her cot where she'll will sleep maybe for 5 mins, maybe for 1 hour, maybe not at all.

Please don't judge me. Yes I know it's all my fault. I should have got her into a routine much much earlier but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I am so down about it all. I've totally failed her and I don't know how to dig us out of this hole

You haven't failed at all! Waking up is something babies do. Sleeping in your arms is obviously her favourite place, but not very practical for you. Is her cot big, does it feel large and open to her? Is she small enough still to fit in a basket? Or the carrycot part of a pushchair even. You could set it inside the cot. What is her feeding like, does she feed when she wakes up at night?

I'm a firm believer in doing whatever works for you until it doesn't work for you. My ds was like yours at 8 month apart from he used to fall asleep in his bouncer every night. I just got to the point where it was too much for me. So I made a decision that when I got back from our holiday he was going in his cot. At least for the evenings. At first I used whatever method I used to soothe him at night which for me was nursing. Then I'd put him in and stay and reassure him until he fell asleep. Since then I have done very gradual retreats. Nursing turned to rocking, rocking turned to cuddle and kiss. And now I just put him down. Then I would sit by his cot until he fell asleep. He's nearly 12 months now and just this week I've started doing gentle Ferber because I know he's capable of falling asleep without me now. Which has gone really well. I guess my point is don't put pressure on yourself but equally don't suffer unnecessarily. There are always alternatives.