Sleep training at 12 months - any tips?

[Lizbiz89]

I'm in the middle of sleep training my almost 12 month old. At current he doesn't sleep for more than 2-3 hours a night. I've been doing very gradual things but his sleep just hasn't improved. So now I'm doing a modified Ferber where I leave but come back every few minutes to reassure. Would be grateful if anyone could give me any pointers? What worked, what didn't work etc? Really hoping this helps as my ds hasn't slept more than 5 hours since he's been born. A year of no sleep is breaking me.

Few questions first.
1, Is child awake screaming/crying/playing. - if its playing leave them.
2, Are they with you or in a setting?
3, How long are naps - where are naps - how may naps?
Some parts of being a parent are harder than others. 💐

1, Is child awake screaming/crying/playing. - if its playing leave them - both. Sometimes wakes screaming, sometimes playing.
2, Are they with you or in a setting? - he's in his room.
3, How long are naps - where are naps - how may naps? N*aps are 1-1.15 long and he has 2 naps a day. Current wake windows are 3/3/4.5.
*
Sometimes he fights naps which is when we get the really bad nights as he's overtired.

Okay when he's playing leave him.
One of mine (I have 3) Would wake up and hum - progressing to singing nursery rhymes with age - for anywhere up your 2 hours a night anytime from midnight to 2am.
If he's playing he may he able to self soothe back to sleep with time. So leave him to it. My fingers are crossed for you.

When he's screaming no eye contact and shushing noises - other soothing noise you use - don't talk - one of the best bits of advice my Nan ever gave me. Yes it was hard but it worked after a few weeks perseverance. The length of soothing time lessened and lessened.
I would pick up and rock again no eye contact.

When he wakes and is upset in the morning or after a nap plenty of talking eye contact.

Setting apologies should have been clear I meant with you or nursery?

If he's in a nursery setting it can be a lot harder to establish your own routine.

How long has he been in his own room?
Some child a just don't like it (my first I caved and he didn't go to his own room till he was nearly 3 - slept in own bed in my room)
3rd was easiest but she went in with her sister so still had other noises.

Can you try to move the first nap to a slightly later time and keep it to a hour? Thus adjusting the later nap time.
Try and do things to tire him out before second nap so he is more likely to go down.

He may need to have one large nap in the middle of the day rather than 2 shorter ones. My first had less bad nights with days of establishing this routine was hard to keep him away the extra bit the first 2 weeks.

Is he in the pram or cot?
Second napped in pram only as she saw the cot as night bedtime and would be a nightmare if she'd napped in a cot or travel cot.

Naps are a hard one as I understand you have your routine that is individual to your family and what works.

I had a different experience with each of mine. What i did may not be an approved method but it worked for the child that needed it. I grew up with a strict bedtime routine and so have my children, that included as babies. But it had to be done there was a routine when my 2nd was born, I had to get the 1st to school.

If you have family around ask them what yours, your mum's sleeping habits are like. And for tips with what they did.
Again what I've suggested may not be something you wish to try I felt like a cruel mum but once they started taking less and less time to soothe, started to self soothe/go back to sleep themselves after playing/singing for abit. Then slept for longer and longer it was worth it.

Thank you I'll have a look at all these points. He's currently fighting his second nap as we speak. Stood up in cot playing. He's slept in his own room since August (9months). Always ends up in our bed in the night though.

@Luckymom1999 never heard of that before. Have you tried it? Unfortunately not a regression, just crap sleeper 🤣