4 month old poor daytime + night time sleep

Alice4875 · 2024-09-15T12:20:05+00:00

Feeling very sleep deprived and wondering if anyone has any advice. My baby is 4.5 months old - EBF. We have issues with both daytime and nighttime sleep. He really fights naps and will only really nap on me after a feed or in the sling, occasionally pram or car but not very often. If we try to move him he wakes straight away. Most days we are only managing 2-3 30min-1hr naps at most. Nighttime sleep has been awful for around 6 weeks. Struggling to get him settled in the bedside crib. He usually falls asleep after a feed but transferring him is a nightmare - around half the time he wakes within a minute of being put down despite me still having a hand on him, shushing, patting etc. The other half he wakes up usually within an hour of falling asleep. We are getting very sleep deprived and I’m worried about falling asleep feeding him. Do I have to bite the bullet and co-sleep - I would try but I’m worried that will mean he will be in with me for ages and we would like to get him in his own room or at least sleeping in the cot in our room as when I go back to work in Feb I will be working nights some of the time so I’m not going to be there physically to co sleep with him. Any advice welcome or even just a handhold!

Dfjackson · 15/09/2024 13:56

Hi!
My baby is 4 months and is having the exact same problem with day time and night time sleep.
I have her for contact naps in the dark bedroom for all day time naps which is very depressing and if I have to go out she struggles to nap at all! But they do work for when I’m home for getting in the day time sleep but not long term solution.
In the night time I’ve managed to finally master the transfer into the next to me she just doesn’t last more than an hour there before wanting resettling but I think this is the sleep regression. I basically settle her on my chest and wait 30 minutes (I’ve been reducing by one minute every few days) she’s in a completely deep sleep by that point- if you think your moving slow move even slower! Keep as close as you can until feet touch the crib then bum then back then head with hand on her chest. I sometimes have to put the ‘rock it’ on which rocks the next to me on a very low setting. In the night it’s exactly the same when she wakes, have her on me for 25-30 minutes before the transfer. Her arm goes really floppy.
Your not on your own - my baby will only go down for an hour at a time at night at the moment and does not do anything but contact nap in the day. :(

increasinglyconcerned · 15/09/2024 20:34

My 4 month old was like this but at 3 months and never good before that. It was really crunch time as it was December, and I became quite sick with a virus, so I was utterly desperate to rest and recover. It was such a miserable Christmas, just went on an on.

A friend mentioned a sleep consultant and it was the absolute best money I ever spent.

Put us on a routine which meant baby was getting enough food in day, to not need to be fed over night. Also enough sleep and appropriate wake windows to improve sleeping over night.

Of course, baby had to learn they were not getting fed when they woke at night and we transferred to their own room. There was an element of crying it out but that was mainly in the day so they learnt to self settle and even the nhs website says put them down awake so they learn and don't rush in when they cry.

Then over night I'd go in but not feed, sleep was restored within 2-3 days max.

Pickledprawn · 15/09/2024 22:47

Do you ever let him whinge a little bit? Not to let him become distressed but just have a little cry. I do this for a minute or two with my daughter and she often goes back to sleep (if she doesn't of course I pick her up).

Original poster

Alice4875 · 15/09/2024 23:28

Pickledprawn · 15/09/2024 22:47

Do you ever let him whinge a little bit? Not to let him become distressed but just have a little cry. I do this for a minute or two with my daughter and she often goes back to sleep (if she doesn't of course I pick her up).

Yes I quite often leave him to see if he will settle but after a minute or so he starts to fully cry and so I end up having to pick him up.

OP posts:

Original poster

Alice4875 · 15/09/2024 23:29

Dfjackson · 15/09/2024 13:56

Hi!
My baby is 4 months and is having the exact same problem with day time and night time sleep.
I have her for contact naps in the dark bedroom for all day time naps which is very depressing and if I have to go out she struggles to nap at all! But they do work for when I’m home for getting in the day time sleep but not long term solution.
In the night time I’ve managed to finally master the transfer into the next to me she just doesn’t last more than an hour there before wanting resettling but I think this is the sleep regression. I basically settle her on my chest and wait 30 minutes (I’ve been reducing by one minute every few days) she’s in a completely deep sleep by that point- if you think your moving slow move even slower! Keep as close as you can until feet touch the crib then bum then back then head with hand on her chest. I sometimes have to put the ‘rock it’ on which rocks the next to me on a very low setting. In the night it’s exactly the same when she wakes, have her on me for 25-30 minutes before the transfer. Her arm goes really floppy.
Your not on your own - my baby will only go down for an hour at a time at night at the moment and does not do anything but contact nap in the day. :(

Sorry to hear you are having similar issues - I hope things improve for you soon!

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Dfjackson · 15/09/2024 23:36

Alice4875 · 15/09/2024 23:29

Sorry to hear you are having similar issues - I hope things improve for you soon!

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Thank you I hope you get through this hard time.
We have had two wake ups already sadly so my hope is gone completely :(

Original poster

Alice4875 · 18/09/2024 12:47

Dfjackson · 15/09/2024 23:36

Thank you I hope you get through this hard time.
We have had two wake ups already sadly so my hope is gone completely :(

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Oh no! We are much the same here too!

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peacelil · 18/09/2024 16:08

Just to say that we resorted to co-sleeping around this age after my little one started getting colds and just not settling in the night on his own. Letting him have a little whinge never worked for us either - would escalate to screaming immediately!
Anyway, it only ended up being a couple of months (uncomfortable physically but I got so much more sleep and the not having to sit up, get up and down etc helped me so much). We started process of transferring him to a cot in our room and then into his own room at 6 months and by 8 months he was sleeping in his own room. So it can just be a temporary measure and doesn't necessarily need to long term co sleeping! Good luck!

Original poster

Alice4875 · 18/09/2024 20:00

peacelil · 18/09/2024 16:08

Just to say that we resorted to co-sleeping around this age after my little one started getting colds and just not settling in the night on his own. Letting him have a little whinge never worked for us either - would escalate to screaming immediately!
Anyway, it only ended up being a couple of months (uncomfortable physically but I got so much more sleep and the not having to sit up, get up and down etc helped me so much). We started process of transferring him to a cot in our room and then into his own room at 6 months and by 8 months he was sleeping in his own room. So it can just be a temporary measure and doesn't necessarily need to long term co sleeping! Good luck!

Thanks for that! That’s reassuring! At the moment I am trying to put him into his little bassinet/next to me at the start of the night but usually past 2/3am I’ve just resorted to co-sleeping as I’m too tired to keep trying. Glad to know you managed to get your little one into their own bed after a short while. I’m hoping it’s just a phase, that’s what I keep telling myself anyway!

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