4 year old still cosleeping

[Serop]

My son has never slept well. From about 6 months we started cosleeping as I realised that he slept better that way but I assumed it would just for a few months until he got better at self soothing. But every attempt to get him sleeping on his own has just failed miserably.

At around 2 years old I really persevered with having him in his own room but he was waking up 4/5 times per night. I spent about 6 months waking up multiple times per night and working the next day and it almost killed me so in the end I just gave up and put him back in the bed with me where suddenly he was sleeping through.

Any suggestion of him going in to his own room is met with resistance. He says he doesn't want to be alone, wants to be with me, is scared alone etc.
I have suggested doing his room out and him picking new decoration and bedding and even a new bed. Suggested getting a night light and a special cuddly toy. Explained that he is safe here and there is nothing to be scared of. Offered to swap bedrooms with him in case there was something woo he was picking up on in his room. Suggested he sleep in his bed and me on the air mattress beside him for the first few nights.

Can anyone offer any advice. I really want my bed back.
Must admit that my sister was cosleep well beyond 4 years old so maybe it runs in the family? Really hoping not.

Put a mattress on your floor for him.

batelle Technique

This. If you want some sleep this is what we did they just came in and fall straight to sleep. They all grow out if it in the end.

How was he with potty training? I ask because my ds only started sleeping alone a few weeks ago at 5.5. He was an unwell baby with allergies and reflux, poorly medicated, and just stayed with me (and later his sister too). For him, he couldn't manage anything until he was ready - sleeping alone, sleeping through, dropping night milk, potty training, etc.

Nothing really changed when he was finally ready. He just was. He said he was ready to try. I did redo his room this spring/summer I guess, and he was very excited to have his bunk beds (he sleeps on the bottom ofc). Lots of nightlights, potty, stuffies, a special peaceful song playing on repeat all night long. The first couple of weeks he would last until about midnight and then come to his sister's room to be with me. Now we've done about 2/3 weeks where he lasts all night. I honestly didn't think it would ever happen again this stage. Turns out he sleeps better without me too, I must have been waking him, as he never slept through before.

Sorry for the rant! Obviously I'm still not getting uninterrupted sleep 6 years on as his little sister won't give up the breastmilk... I'm enjoying the space (on one side of me at least) but am missing the cuddles if I'm honest! So pleased for him though :)

He was fine with potty training. He was around 2 and we never had any accidents in the night. Some day time accidents at the beginning but he picked it up quite quickly.
It was a nightmare getting him to stop breastfeeding though. I gave up trying to get him to stop and waited until he just stopped asking one day when he was three and a half. I think I started encouraging him to stop shortly before he turned two.

There's no room for a mattress in the floor in my bedroom. He has space in his room but won't even cross the threshold for bed time so I don't think that will work but maybe if I put the mattress down and he sees I will be next to him it might persuade him.

My six year old is the same. The other three come along occasionally but she just will not stay in her bed.

I tell myself it will not be forever. And just accept it. Not what you want to hear I know. I tend to verge to sleep over any other argument in this house.

Have you got an old cot mattress that would fit or even fold up an old duvet. It doesn't need to be a big space.

Could you sleep in his room with him for a while, get him used to sleeping in his room but with the comfort of you there, then slowly move out gradually. Start leaving him for the first part of the night after hes sleeping, spend time with DH in the evening then just join DS when it’s time to go to sleep, then once he’s comfortable with that, go to you own bed but join him after the first wake up and then just. Keep extending it?

not exactly the same but I’ve co slept with my DS since birth, he’s only 1.5 years but this is the set up we have and it works really well. He has a small double floor bed in his room, I get him to sleep then roll away and spend the evening with my husband, have a cuddle in our bed etc and only when it’s time for our lights out do I go and join DS. He sleeps better with me, there’s no fight to make him sleep in a cot which he hates and causes endless tears, me and DH still have “our” bed and space and get to spend time together. Not sure if it will still be the same set up when he’s 4 but for now we have no intentions to change anything.