Baby already self settles but is still going through the 4 month sleep regression - what should I do?

[Bumblingonby]

Title says it all, really. Our 17 week old has been fully self settling for 2 months- we put her down, she sucks her hand for a bit and pops off to sleep with no props or associations. Lucky us.

Recently the dreaded 35 minute naps and waking hourly post 2 am have begun, and I'm at a loss for what to do. Naps I've given up on trying to extend as she wakes fully and immediately rolls over into tummy time and then screams as she can't get out of it, after a single sleep cycle.

Night time- she can sometimes get herself back to sleep after a lot of crying (way more than when we first put her to bed as I think the sleep pressure isn't there any more closer to dawn) and if she gets hysterical I resort to feeding her. I'm worried about reverse cycling if I feed her more than 2 times a night but the alternative would be to walk around with her which I worry would wake her completely.

Should I be doing this? Picking her up if she gets hysterical but its not feed time, going for a wander and hoping she'll forget her distress so when I put her back down again she'll see it as a new bedtime and try to put herself to sleep again?

All the guides/advice say that if your LO has the regression the only cure is to teach them to self settle, but nothing addresses what to do if they can self settle, but simply don't want to!

Thanks in advance for any tips

Thanks for the advice all! Turns out it's all moot anyway since as of 2 days ago she now refuses to go in the crib at all! She's gone down in it very happily since birth, and fully awake since 8 weeks.... and all of a sudden for whatever reason she's decided that the crib is lava and screams if she suspects she may even be going there🤷‍♀️. She also seems tonhave forgotten how to suck her thumb overnight. Soo contact naps it is! Truly the regression knows no mercy haha... I know that this is all normal, and we'll just have to deal with it, but that doesn't make the exhaustion easier to deal with. Ah well.

Unfortunately for health reasons (we have the bed on an incline for reflux/apnea, plus I have anxiety and couldn't bear the risk) we can't ever bedshare so that's not a solution. I think DH and I are going to have to start sleeping in shifts every night, which sucks, but does guarantee us 5-6 hours unbroken sleep a night which at this point I think is absolutely essential to keep us sane. Luckily she takes a bottle, so he can cover...hopefully it won't disrupt my supply too much. If needed I can wake and do a quick express.

I'll look out for those books, it's all fasinating psychologically, I find it really interesting regardless of my personal circs. Plus would like tips on how/when to try to reintroduce the crib to her while she's awake, without traumatising her.

On the plus side, she's just absolutely delighted with life at the moment so whatever her brain chemistry changes are, they are much more distressing for us than her and it's so cute. I'm railing at God for the 5th 15 minute nap in a row but then she's gazing up at me with the biggest grin...

There are a couple of good easy read books by E. Pantley No Cry Sleep Solutions and No Cry Naps Solutions. Lots of real life solutions developed by parents themselves. Highly recommend. Both books available from Amazon

The exhaustion is brutal, cut yourself some slack in anyway you can and then buy some more rope and cut even more slack for baby's Dad. You will get through it! The 4 month sleep regression was one of the lowest points of my life! But honestly it did just end. Sleep still wasn't great, but it was never that bad again. If you're interested in the science behind it all you should definitely buy Lindsey Hookway's books. I think she's written a whole PhD about it.

We did the shifts for a while, at was hideous but it ensured survival.