Baby fights sleep all day every day ...

[Snowdrops17]

So my now 13 week old (born at 38 weeks) fights her sleep throughout the day. I have to rock her to sleep and contact nap to get her to sleep . She will not sleep in her buggy or In the car or if she does nod off it's only for 20 minutes and the ends up over tired. I've also tried a carrier which she sleeps in but wakes after 20/30 minutes . I'm very careful about her wake window's because she fights her sleep so much she often ends up over tired . Is there anyway to get her to nap better or to get her to self soothe at this age ? Her wake windows are an hour right now which means I spend a lot of the day with her asleep on me. And I rarely leave the house as she ends up so over tired from fighting her sleep that I spend the evening battling with her to go asleep .

This is pretty typical. Is she sleeping in dark room with white noise? Is she swaddled?

Yes dark room and white noise for all naps and night time , she isn't swaddled anymore as she hates her arms being covered she gets very upset and it just makes everything worse . I suppose my biggest problem is she literally won't fall asleep anywhere but in my arms I literally can't leave the house or pay for it for the rest of the day also I don't think it's fair to her as she gets very upset when overtired

My daughter was like this ever since she was born, still the same now age 4.

We used to log her naps on an app, sometimes they were just 7min long, after over half an hour of breastfeeding or pacing her around. Sometimes they were 40min, never longer. She point blank refused to nap at nursery. As a baby she'd wake at least 5-6x in the night and only get a total of about 8-10h of sleep per 24h, we were so exhausted.

Now age 4 it's always "one more book! Please, I'm not tired!" But she is tired.

I think it's just her personality tbh, or how her brain works. We've tried everything, now we just accept it. It's easier to be firm now she can listen to instructions.

Her baby brother is much easier to settle but he only ever naps for 28mins, it's like clockwork every single time, you can set your watch by it. 28 mins is not enough time to get much done!

Unfortunately very normal. I think most babies start to consolidate sleep for longer than 30mins around 6months but my son never did. He also only ever napped in the sling. If she’s in the sling you could at least get out for a walk?
I know it’s not what you wanted to hear but I don’t think there’s a magic solution and I found it much easier to accept that’s how it was than try to fight it.
It gets easier as they get older and their naps space out more. Gives you much more time to do things in between.

Oh god well that makes sense if it's her personality because her dad is the exact same ....

All you can do is create the proper environment for her to sleep - you can’t make her sleep. If you want some additional tips I’d recommend taking Cara babies.