Will I regret co-sleeping during 4 month sleep regression?!

CM327509 · 2024-09-06T15:18:58+00:00

We have a bedtime routine and my LO goes to sleep between 7.30-8pm independently in his crib in our bedroom. At around 3.5 months he dropped down to 1 night feed then the dreaded 4 month regression arrived. He sleeps perfectly from 7.30pm/8pm but now starts active sleeping/stirring at 12am. If I don’t catch his active sleep he will eventually (after 10 mins) turn into fully awake and upset. I’ve tried soothing him to sleep but didn’t work. Now, before he manages to fully wake, I move him into my bed and he sleeps soundly until 3/4am for his night feed. I know the sleep regression is just a phase and my exhaustion will end HOWEVER I am worried that my LO will depend on co-sleeping even after the regression. Any advice/experience please!!!

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hermionegranger · 06/09/2024 16:34

You have my empathy!! It's such a hard phase, my baby woke every 45 minutes for WEEKS once that regression kicked in.
I did the same thing as you and after a certain point in the night I brought my baby into my bed so co-sleep for the rest of the night. It helped mainly me get some rest; after a few weeks when she was starting to change her habits again the co-sleeping stopped working as she just wanted to wriggle round and clearly wanted her own space and then she happily accepted being in a cot at around 6 months.
I would say that it definitely doesn't have to mean that your baby will be dependent on co-sleeping indefinitely, but it's so individual to the baby (and what you want!). A friend of mine did the same as me and her son co-slept with her until he was nearly 4!
But if you don't want to co-sleep long term, you don't have to. You can slowly change your routine and your baby will adapt, this regression is just particularly brutal and co-sleeping is a great option whilst it works for both of you.
If it's helpful, and some people find it very controversial, but it's the best thing I did for me and my baby, once I stopped co-sleeping, I started following a very very gentle sleep training course (not anything close to CIO!) from Sleep Well with Hannah and it saved my sanity. I did it over the course of several months following my baby's lead and it worked like a dream. So even if you do end up co-sleeping longer term, there are ways to change it.

Original poster

CM327509 · 06/09/2024 17:36

hermionegranger · 06/09/2024 16:34

You have my empathy!! It's such a hard phase, my baby woke every 45 minutes for WEEKS once that regression kicked in.
I did the same thing as you and after a certain point in the night I brought my baby into my bed so co-sleep for the rest of the night. It helped mainly me get some rest; after a few weeks when she was starting to change her habits again the co-sleeping stopped working as she just wanted to wriggle round and clearly wanted her own space and then she happily accepted being in a cot at around 6 months.
I would say that it definitely doesn't have to mean that your baby will be dependent on co-sleeping indefinitely, but it's so individual to the baby (and what you want!). A friend of mine did the same as me and her son co-slept with her until he was nearly 4!
But if you don't want to co-sleep long term, you don't have to. You can slowly change your routine and your baby will adapt, this regression is just particularly brutal and co-sleeping is a great option whilst it works for both of you.
If it's helpful, and some people find it very controversial, but it's the best thing I did for me and my baby, once I stopped co-sleeping, I started following a very very gentle sleep training course (not anything close to CIO!) from Sleep Well with Hannah and it saved my sanity. I did it over the course of several months following my baby's lead and it worked like a dream. So even if you do end up co-sleeping longer term, there are ways to change it.

Thank you SO much for responding. I feel so much more at ease 😭 I’ve always been a bit unsure about professionals sleep methods and definitely don’t want the CIO method. Without sounding frugal, but was the training course expensive? And was it quite time consuming, as in your entire day is following a set procedure?

OP posts:

Rory17384949 · 06/09/2024 17:41

No, you can sort it out later. We co slept with our youngest because she didn't sleep through for ages. We then used reward charts to encourage staying in own bed when she was older and could understand. Co sleeping is really normal.

How old is he though? Is he waking because he's hungry? I was doing a dream feed then one other night feed until about 6 months

Original poster

CM327509 · 06/09/2024 17:44

Rory17384949 · 06/09/2024 17:41

No, you can sort it out later. We co slept with our youngest because she didn't sleep through for ages. We then used reward charts to encourage staying in own bed when she was older and could understand. Co sleeping is really normal.

How old is he though? Is he waking because he's hungry? I was doing a dream feed then one other night feed until about 6 months

So he’s 4.5 months. Around a month ago he dropped to 1 night feed, at around 3/4am. Because of the sleep regression I have introduced a dream feed. So I don’t think he’s waking due to hunger. He still has his 3/4am bottle even with a dream feed so I am putting his night stirs/active sleeping down to the 4 month sleep regression?

OP posts:

Original poster

CM327509 · 06/09/2024 17:48

@hermionegranger Thank you SO much for responding. I feel so much more at ease 😭 I’ve always been a bit unsure about professionals sleep methods and definitely don’t want the CIO method. Without sounding frugal, but was the training course expensive? And was it quite time consuming, as in your entire day is following a set procedure?

OP posts:

Original poster

CM327509 · 06/09/2024 17:49

@Rory17384949 So he’s 4.5 months. Around a month ago he dropped to 1 night feed, at around 3/4am. Because of the sleep regression I have introduced a dream feed. So I don’t think he’s waking due to hunger. He still has his 3/4am bottle even with a dream feed so I am putting his night stirs/active sleeping down to the 4 month sleep regression?

OP posts:

PurBal · 06/09/2024 18:06

The advice I got was "do anything to get through it". It'll be over before you know it but awful when you're in it! Hang in there.

hermionegranger · 07/09/2024 21:30

CM327509 · 06/09/2024 17:48

@hermionegranger Thank you SO much for responding. I feel so much more at ease 😭 I’ve always been a bit unsure about professionals sleep methods and definitely don’t want the CIO method. Without sounding frugal, but was the training course expensive? And was it quite time consuming, as in your entire day is following a set procedure?

It was pricey, I think about £200 which I split with a friend going through the same thing but honestly worth every penny. Not time consuming in any overwhelming way; naps can take longer because your baby might take a little longer to settle as you slowly adjust your methods, but you can kind of take it at your own pace and invest as much time into it as you want/need. I don't remember it being anything that impacted a whole day though!
Hardest part is sticking to it in the night when you're tired and they take a while to get back to sleep, but again, absolutely worth it.