4 month old wake windows

[Nightowly]

My son is 4 months old tomorrow.
He’s a gorgeous little boy who I can’t get enough of 🥰
But I’m struggling with getting frustrated over wake windows.
I’ve read (maybe that’s where I’ve gone wrong) a lot of guidance that 1.5-2hrs wake windows for 4 months, but my baby barely makes it to 1hr 15 before he is extremely winey that turns into crying and then he is quite hard to settle. Once he has settled he will fall asleep.
If I catch it before this point it’s an easy task but I’m struggling to know what he wants lately :( his hunger cues are pretty much zero now 🤦🏼‍♀️ I’ve found myself thinking he’s hungry so offer him a bottle (he’s formula fed) but he doesn’t want it, he just wants to go to sleep.
I feel like a failure because I can’t tell what my baby needs and he always seems to get overtired and distressed, then I get frustrated because I spend so much time trying to settle him so he can sleep :(
Maybe I am underestimating how much sleep he needs.
He started sleeping through the night not long after 12 weeks, by through the night I mean 8-8
He's started waking for a feed around 4/5am now but that’s after going to bed around 7:45-8pm.
Could it just be that he needs more sleep than other babies and 1hr 15 is a big enough wake window for him? I feel like I should always be doing things with him as I don’t want him to be bored or anything (you can probably tell he’s my first baby!)
I’m using the Napper app which suggests 1hr 45 - 2hr wake windows but I think that is just too long for him.

Anyone have any advice on wake windows? Am I doing something wrong?
I know all babies are different, but I have a friend who gave birth 4 weeks before me who I talk to a lot, her baby naps 30-40mins at a time a few times a day and is so happy and content to be awake, mine is not :(

Every baby is different OP!

My baby is nearly 5 months now and since she was about 3 months old has had 2 hour wake windows, that works for her. At our baby group there are 2 babies the same age as mine and one has 3 hour wake windows, one has 90 min wake windows. None is right/wrong, they are just different :)

You don't need to put a 4 month old on a schedule. When he is showing tired cues, let him sleep. Most Mums would sell their right arm to have a baby sleeping 8-8 at 4 months.

You're not a failure at all it's clear you're the best mummy who is worried and LO is doing very well.
Just let them sleep when they need to, there's still a few growth spurts and leaps going on too so nothing will stay the same for long, but generally speaking you only need to review wake windows if you're struggling with sleep, but I would say you're doing amazing and just follow their cues x

I always found idea of wake windows useful with my three, but only as a guide and very much led by what window seemed to be. I’d add 15 mins every month or so and see how it went, but not stick to it if it didn’t seem to be working. From a quick Google this website suggest that a wake window for a four month old could be from 75 minutes, which is what you’re saying seems right for your baby at the moment. So I wouldn’t be stressed that your baby doesn’t match the app you’re using. Remember, babies don’t read the manual! As you say, he settles easily if you get it at the right time, so that tells you everything really. That’s the right time for him. My eldest always had a big nap a fairly short time after she woke up, when all the guides suggested they had a short nap in the morning and a long one in the afternoon. It meant we never got to a baby group, as they were all in the mornings, but it worked for her. www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/wake-windows