4 month regression please help

[notamorningpanda]

Hi,

Just hoping someone can help.
My DS is nearly 5 months and his sleep has been really terrible for the last 8 weeks or so. He's been waking every 1-2 hours in the night, very very occasionally doing a 3 hour stretch, usually in the early hours of the morning. It's been really tough but I was just about coping. But the last three nights he's been waking more like every 20-30 minutes for a lot of the night. What's going on?? Is this still the regression? I'm loosing my mind with no sleep, I can't carry on much longer like this. Is there anything that might help? Any advice would be much appreciated!

TIA

I did give him some Calpol at bedtime tonight in case it's teething, but he's been no better so far. Slept from 7ish to 9, then been up every 20-30 minutes since then. I fed him twice (bf) as that always used to settle him and give me at least a 1-2 hour stretch but he's now waking as soon as I move him. Will eventually settle with his dummy but wake 20 minutes later. Currently asleep on me, I don't dare move him, but not safe for me to sleep like this. Arghhh 😫

Thanks @MadMadamMum . Really appreciate your reply!

He only ever naps 40 minutes maximum if I put him down so can't get much rest during the day. I've got some help from family some days. DH is trying to help but he's not so good at settling DS yet. We also have a toddler so DH has been looking after them.

Our 4 month sleep regression was utterly brutal with wakes every 20 - 45 minutes all night. At 6 months and 10 days old, after 10 weeks of it, we sleep trained with a method that involved checks every 2 minutes if she was upset. It worked within 12 minutes on night 1 and within a week she was going to sleep independently with no crying and no wakes at all 95% of the time. I made myself hold out until 6 months old as even though 'they' say you can sleep train from 4 months, it just felt too young to me, and i hopefully the regression would pass on its own. Yours really could end on it's own, i very much hope it does. If not, perhaps consider whether you can sleep train. It does not work for every child but equally it does not always involve hours of traumatic crying. It changed our lives and our baby was well rested and despite a few hiccups with nap transitions etc she's slept through 95% of the time every since, until recently when the 18 months sleep regression kicked our arses for nearly 12 weeks but has pretty much passed now and she's back to sleeping through again. We didn't have to sleep train again as we decided to maintain healthy independent sleep habits and not start rocking her to sleep or staying in the room with her etc. We were exhausted, but it passed and now back to normal. Good luck whatever happens!

Didn't want to read and run, but my god I'm sending you a massive hug!

We have a horrendous sleeper l, she's truly been bad at it since day one but things got slightly easier after the 6m sleep regression, and then clicked at 9m - no sleep training, no CIO, just let her find her groove. It is absolutely fucking brutal and torturous and people who have never woken every 20 mins for weeks on end can never understand.

My friend told.me she survives parenthood by repeating the mantra 'you owe me nothing' to her little ones. They don't owe us sleep, it's a bonus - but it's important to remember this does not last. You're in the trenches, but it will pass, I promise you. Solidarity xxx

Co sleeping is what saved our sanity with this - it's so hard and relentless, I feel for you! Probably doesn't help to hear but it truly doesn't last forever!

Thanks for your reply @teaandkittehs! That's really encouraging to read. After 6 nights of 1-2 hours sleep I cracked and decided to try some sleep training at bedtime last night. Previously he was going to sleep relatively easily with a dummy but I wondered if it was contributing to the sleep issues so I put him down without it last night. Did checks every 3 minutes but he was crying a lot less than I expected! More a frustrated cry and stop start rather than continuous. He fell asleep after 13 minutes at about 7pm. He then slept without stirring until 22:45! We are on the second wake up of the night now but he's slept in his cot which is amazing compared to what we had before.

Can I ask what you did for night wake ups when you sleep trained? He normally has a feed around 22-23:00 so I fed him when he woke, put him down after but he started crying. I shush patted him to sleep to minimise the crying because I'm conscious of disturbing my toddler next door. Just giving him another feed now, fingers crossed he will settle easily after!

The early months are brutal. Sending you all the positive energy in the world you get through them swiftly and smoothly.

It is hard to say with babies sleep because each child is so different and there can be a number of factors impacting their sleep. I can only speak on my experience. My daughter had (continues to have) a massive appetite and I think what made her sleep worse around the 4 - 5month mark was feeling hungry ( she was waking up every 20-30min). Prior to that point I was nursing on demand and I expected to introduce solids at 6 months as per nhs advice. I introduced food into her diet around 5months. specifically in the evening before bed -like a dinner meal. Something to help her feel full through the night. For us that was the solution.

I appreciate this is unusual, because solids are supposed to start at 6 months. But you could try nursing him for longer or more often in the evening to help him feel fuller if hunger/growth spurt is your issue this could help.

I wish you all the luck! Those early months are rough. But remember it won’t last forever.

She pretty much stopped having night wake ups by night 3, she was over 6 months old and could make it through the night without a feed, but it took us a few days to your this out and it meant giving her all her calories during the day. When she had the occasional night wake, we just did exactly the same sleep training as when putting her to bed in the first place - checking her every 2 mins etc. She usually went straight back to sleep, and it's very similar with night wakes now - if they happen, which is they occasionally do, we go in and lie her down, if she's upset we tell her it's okay and mummy or daddy is here, give her a few back strokes and leave the room. She usually goes back to sleep after that, but most of the time she doesn't call for us in the night anymore as the sleep training gave her independent sleep skills so she just puts herself back to sleep. If she's ill etc she will need us, and I know bad dreams can kick in as she gets older, but in the main she's a good independent sleeper.

Thanks @teaandkittehs ! That's really helpful. My DS is only 5 months so still wakes for two night feeds but the sleep training at least eliminated all the other wakes we had before! I know this is not the end of it, but it was definitely the right thing to do for us and a lot less tears than I expected! I will try to reduce his night feeds as he gets nearer to 6 months.