Struggling with interrupted sleep - 1 year old

[alicedahl]

Hello everyone! I have a 1 year old, who I'm still breastfeeding... who wakes up twice every night hungry (?). We've used the Ferber method to help her fall asleep (19:30-20hrs), but she'll wake up at 2 am and then a second time at 4-5am. On both times, she wakes up screaming, and only calms when I nurse her. But I'm going mental, I don't know if I'm doing it alright...

I've read on books and forums that babies sleep through the night, but I struggle to understand what that actually means... do they sleep 10-11hrs without waking up? not even once? are they able to wake up and go back to sleep on their own without having to be fed? :( this is really affecting my mood, and my job... I feel quite hopeless bc I do want to keep breastfeeding (at least during the day) but I can't find the way to stop the feeding during the night (or could I give her cow's milk during the night for example? with a bottle? with a cup? I'm so confused...!!! ).

*side note, I do have a partner who says "he also sleeps like sht, and still has energy to workout, have a job etc etc..." which only adds to my feeling of inadequacy and constant self doubt.

If anyone could please help me, thank you

So there’s a few things here.

mine still woke up several times in the night at that age - sorry- and I think that’s normal for some children to be honest.

‘sleeping through’ is defined differently by different people - in one big study it was defined as child sleeping 6 hours in a row! Which is they go to bed at 8pm still has them waking at 2am, which is hard work.

As for your partner - being woken and being able to roll over and go to sleep again is NOT the same as feeding a child back to sleep. He sounds unsupportive and can frankly go to hell, unless he’s volunteering to take over all night waking and resetttle baby everytime (he could give milk in a bottle after all).

PS you can night wean if you want, yes, though it might not be easy. And at 1 I think we are not supposed to introduce bottles, but I guess could give milk in cup ? I don’t actually know as I couldn’t face night weaning myself , sorry

I night weaned my DD a bit earlier, can't remember exactly, but probably around 10 months. I wasn't very well with a cold and my DH went in to settle her for a few nights instead of me getting up to feed her. He just picked her up and held her till she calmed down. She settled quite quickly each time so don't think she was hungry. She then stopped waking for it after a few days.
Could you try sending your partner in? They smell the milk on you so harder for you to settle her without feeding.

Just to add that I then carried on breastfeeding her daytime until she was 18 months.

I wouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself and your baby, every child is different.
I breastfed until 18 months & actually fed to sleep until then as that’s what worked for us. We then switched to cows milk bottles. If you’re thinking of dropping night feeds that’ll obviously be tough initially, but you could definitely try a bottle instead if that’s what you want to do.
Maybe try one bottle in the day to get her used to it to begin with?

thank you very much for your messages ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I was confused about the bottle bc our paediatrician said that they weren't recommended once the baby is 12months old. Honestly, the idea of feeding with a bottle in the middle of the night, being all drowsy, seems a lot easier to me than picturing myself (or my partner) using a mini cup as the dr said. But I will give a try!! (again, I can't stress enough how thankful I am for your replies I wa going crazy 🤯)

Don’t stress! Too much pressure by other people but you know yourself and daughter the best
Our daughter has just turned 3 and she still likes her milk bottle every night (half milk, half hot water) it helps get her off to sleep on her own, & she generally will sleep through every night!