SLEEP HELP!! | Mumsnet

Rose1999 · 2024-08-14T18:11:36+00:00

My 8 month old is now getting super upset whenever she’s placed in her cot 🤷&zwj;♀️ so for both of our sanity’s, I’ve had her with me in my bed the last few nights 🤦&zwj;♀️ Whilst she does seem to sleep better with less wake ups, I’ve noticed that she gets super hot. Is this normal? I can’t stop worrying but the alternative right now is her crying endlessly in her cot and getting no sleep 😕 In addition, her eyes seem really dark. Like she’s getting no sleep at all. During the day, she’s a happy little soul. I’m just mega confused by it all. I don’t know what to do. It’s really really getting me down 😔

Brightandbreezey · 14/08/2024 21:35

As long as you are following safe co sleeping guidance (look up lullaby trust) here is nothing wrong with being her into your bed if you are both getting some well needed sleep. It won’t be forever, just in enjoy the sleep right now!!
What is she wearing to bed? If you are in the UK it is quite hot still at night so make sure she isn’t dressed too much. You can leave a blanket off her, babies tend to be a bit hotter then us so bare that in mind when getting her ready for bed!
She might just need to catch up on some lost sleep and her eyes will return to normal. As long as she’s generally happy in the day and alert she’s doing fine!

Zeldee · 14/08/2024 23:08

Put her back in her cot, you are making a rod for your own back. She will get used to sleeping with you then trying to get her back a normal sleep pattern will be so much worse. Try controlled crying where you put her in the cot and then close the door. When she cries go back in and speak soothing words to her. Next time you go in you do not speak but sooth by putting her back to lay down and tuck her in. Repeat last stage for however long it takes. She will get the message very quickly. Will probably take a couple of nights but she will get easier each night.

Putting her in your bed is giving in to what she wants and babies learn early how to manipulate their parents.

Dont give up and good luck x

Ayeyourebeingadick · 14/08/2024 23:11

Jesus Christ. Babies literally can’t manipulate their parents. They do not have that part of the brain. They are wired for connection and survival with their parent, they are tiny infants. The sooner people stop spouting this the better!

OP, it’s normal. Do whatever gets you the most sleep and that works for your family. Do you know any adults who still sleep with their parents? No. Comforting your small infant is biologically normal and better for their long term development and mental health.

Original poster

Rose1999 · 14/08/2024 23:12

Zeldee · 14/08/2024 23:08

Put her back in her cot, you are making a rod for your own back. She will get used to sleeping with you then trying to get her back a normal sleep pattern will be so much worse. Try controlled crying where you put her in the cot and then close the door. When she cries go back in and speak soothing words to her. Next time you go in you do not speak but sooth by putting her back to lay down and tuck her in. Repeat last stage for however long it takes. She will get the message very quickly. Will probably take a couple of nights but she will get easier each night.

Putting her in your bed is giving in to what she wants and babies learn early how to manipulate their parents.

Dont give up and good luck x

I could never do controlled crying. Breaks my heart and I just want to show her that mommy is always here

OP posts:

Original poster

Rose1999 · 14/08/2024 23:12

Ayeyourebeingadick · 14/08/2024 23:11

Jesus Christ. Babies literally can’t manipulate their parents. They do not have that part of the brain. They are wired for connection and survival with their parent, they are tiny infants. The sooner people stop spouting this the better!

OP, it’s normal. Do whatever gets you the most sleep and that works for your family. Do you know any adults who still sleep with their parents? No. Comforting your small infant is biologically normal and better for their long term development and mental health.

I'm relieved to read this ❤️

OP posts:

Ayeyourebeingadick · 14/08/2024 23:14

Follow cosleepy on instagram too, it’s really helpful.

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/cosleepy?igsh=aDI4bXE4ZG9kbGU1

Brightandbreezey · 15/08/2024 07:59

Zeldee · 14/08/2024 23:08

Put her back in her cot, you are making a rod for your own back. She will get used to sleeping with you then trying to get her back a normal sleep pattern will be so much worse. Try controlled crying where you put her in the cot and then close the door. When she cries go back in and speak soothing words to her. Next time you go in you do not speak but sooth by putting her back to lay down and tuck her in. Repeat last stage for however long it takes. She will get the message very quickly. Will probably take a couple of nights but she will get easier each night.

Putting her in your bed is giving in to what she wants and babies learn early how to manipulate their parents.

Dont give up and good luck x

This is terrible advice. She is 8 MONTHS old. Incapable of manipulation.

Snacksgalore · 15/08/2024 08:01

What’s the temp there and what is she wearing for bed. In coslept with mine and in warm months they would just have a nappy and sheet on them.

Original poster

Rose1999 · 15/08/2024 10:50

I’m just so confused and don’t know what to do 😕

Baby’s dad isn’t happy that I’ve got baby in the bed over him (he’s a light smoker so it’s a no no!). He doesn’t understand why he can’t stay in the bed, despite the copious evidence out there. He also said baby should be sleeping in the cot from early evening. My baby is most happy in my arms and that’s how she always falls asleep. Everything is so confusing for me 😔

OP posts: