Sleep success stories without sleep training?

[SHFsMum]

Hi everyone,

My LO has been a terrible sleeper from day 1. She’s now 8 months and sleep has worsened again, presumably from teething and separation anxiety.

She previously went to sleep in her cot with me beside her but this would take anywhere between 30 and 90 mins with a lot of tears. For the past month or so I’ve been holding her to sleep.

I really don’t know where to go from here. I don’t have the energy to persevere with sitting next to her and it didn’t make a huge difference to her sleep when we were doing it anyway.

I suppose I’m just looking for some success stories. Did you hold your LO to sleep and did they still sleep through the night eventually? I can’t bear the thought of sleep training her so really want to know that this is possible without the tears!

Thanks!

I’m definitely not out of the woods with my 18 month old and she still has some terrible nights (usually teething related) but I have in the last 3 weeks gone from a toddler who co slept with me all night and would wake 1-2 hours for some boob to some semblance of a “good night”.
She now has been sleeping for 6 hour stretches. She has slept in her own floor bed. She accepts a shush and pat sometimes when she wakes and other times she will have a rock with my DP.
We have never sleep trained or left her to cry. It’s all been very very gentle and at a pace that suits her.
Do not get me wrong I have been in the trenches of terrible nights and it’s awful. But your little one will be able to have better nights eventually. A lot of it is developmental and I don’t think you can rush it. It is all very possible with out all the tears! Good luck x

My 9MO is and always has been, breastfed to sleep, with no sleep training. Sleep has been up and down, mostly two night wakes/feeds but sometimes three or four (or more), especially as we tried to work out how to cope with the hot weather. We did see a definite improvement when we moved her to her own room, I suspect because she escaped the snoring 🤣 And, touch wood, we have just completed a whole week of only one wake per night (including one glorious night where she slept through the whole 10 hours!!) For her the answer seemed to be don't bother with the travel blackout blind, just have the windows open and the curtains closed and she's happy! I'm guessing she likes being able to see where she is when she wakes, or possibly the better airflow...not sure but the point is, yes sleeping through without sleep training is possible, hang in there, you're doing an amazing job x

My son is like this, was good ish for a refluxy baby but got worse at 5 months when he learned to roll and needed rocked and held to sleep. He is huge and at 10 months I couldn't take the knee pain of rocking him for ages anymore only for him to wake because he was put down so we took the side off his big cot and have it flush against the small double in his room like a giant next 2 me, and instead of rocking him to sleep we just lay him down with a book and gave him a bottle. He fought it, left trying to sit up but we gently laid him back down whilr lying by him on the he'd and after a few nights of 30 mins of tears he slept his first 6 hour stretch. He's back to being a nightmare due to molar teething but nevause one of us is right next to him it's quick to soothe and because he falls asleep on his cot mattress and not in our arms, we've watched him wake in the evening on the monitor and self soothe, an absolutely miracle as before he'd never have done that! Such hard work and we've yet to have a full night from him but huge improvement, next goal side back on cot once he is sleeping through more.

To add having a very dark room and a good routine did help him too, it's changed naps for us as well, no more holding him for hours, just in his bag, white noise, story while lying by him, small bottle of milk and he's asleep and we can leave the room now.

Hi OP!
Firstly just want to say it does get better, I know your probably feeling in the depth of a dark woods right now.
My LO was an awful sleeper as you said right from day 1, usually woke every 45 - 60 minutes from newborn to around 7 months, then got to around 2 hours sleep one hour awake and then teething set us right back again.
We tried everything, we were on a waitlist for support from the HV team but never actually heard anything back, i ended up going back off work as I was so fatigued it wasn't safe to drive!
One day we put him down in his big cot in his bedroom - he had never slept in it before and we put him down for a nap in a cot and he had the longest nap ever, then we put him in there that night and he woke once, i couldn't believe it. We had tried everything from white noise, different mattress, different routine, warm milk, cold milk the list goes on. The HV explained that once a baby hits a certain age they realise they are a single entity and quite enjoy contact during the day and are more independent at night, have you considered moving them into their own bedroom?
We also found weaning helped a lot, once he started eating more foods he wouldn't wake for feeds during the night so that was a great help.
There were some nights where we struggled but were far and few, it honestly just clicked one day.
Have you also tried no naps? We dropped naps at 11 months to 1 a day and before he turned one he didnt nap at all.

Apologies if i'm suggesting things you've already tried.

Best of luck, i'm sure you are doing great at whatever it is you have tried. Hang in there

Other than a period of around a month at 7 months old, my little one has always been held to sleep, and was rocked to sleep most nights until around 12 months. He's just under 15 months now and for the last few weeks he's liked a cuddle then groaned to be put down. It takes him around 10 mins to settle but thankfully I think he's just grown out of it. Honestly I wouldn't over think it, just enjoy the snuggles while you can.

Edit: just realised you mention sleeping through, are they waking on transfer? My little one has slept through mainly from aroubd 10 months unless he's ill or teething

It is so hard when you are in the depths of sleep deprivation so sending support. Both my sons breast fed to sleep and were frequent wakers throughout babyhood and early toddlerhood. Sleep training wasn’t for us and I did a mixture of co-sleeping and putting them back in cot after I had got them back to sleep (almost always through breast feeding). So, I really didn’t do anything but DS1 started sleeping through the night regularly at 2 and DS2 at 2.5 (I know that is a long wait so probably not easy to hear but just wanted to reassure that they can become great sleepers eventually even if you continue to feed/hold to sleep). Both now sleep through almost every night which seemed like it would never happen when they were your little one’s age.