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Can’t get baby to sleep

10 replies

KG1244 · 03/08/2024 04:37

Hoping someone might be able to give a FTM some advice here! DS is 14 weeks old and I cannot get him to sleep. Day naps are hit and miss - sometimes 10/20 minutes sometimes an hour or two. The only way I can get him to nap in the day is via a walk in the pram or holding him in the sling and then transferred to the cot. I presume at this age that is normal. I am following his wake windows and looking out for signs of tiredness.
Bedtime however is proving to be a major challenge and I am struggling! He does not want to go to sleep until between 22:00 and 23:00. I’ve tried earlier in the day but it makes no difference he will not go down earlier. His last nap in the afternoon (around between 4:30-5:30) is half an hour). He will take at least 3 hours to go to sleep from the start of the last feed and is either wide awake or crying. Then once he drops off and is transferred to the cot, wakes up and we start again. He will fed maybe twice in the 3 hours. I feel like this amount of time to get to sleep is not normal and he is exhausting himself. I rock, sing, dim the lights etc. once he is asleep he is asleep and usually wakes up around 4am and then 7am and then after 7am he will usually nap again not long after that wake up and feed. Any advice greatly appreciated. I feel like I’m failing him and worry he isn’t getting enough sleep.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Anotheranxiousone · 03/08/2024 09:31

Hi - 10pm bedtime is normal for young babies so tbh what you describe sounds fine except you’re spending hours trying to get him to sleep before he is ready…just accept it for now, it’ll get earlier once his daytime sleep naturally reduces as he gets older :)

Cindy1802 · 03/08/2024 09:41

What time do you start the bedtime routine? Is it the longest wake window of the day? Is he getting lots of play and interaction in this last wake window?

I second what PP has said, a lot of babies that young have a late bedtime. I have a 7mo and when he was 3mo he was going to sleep around 930-10. He has gradually gone down earlier as he's gotten older. I actually wanted a 730 bedtime by this age but we can't get him down any earlier than 8pm. But it'll come with time!

30min naps are totally normal too, weve only recently started to get decent naps (but not always, and have to resettle him sometimes). Extremely frustrating, but normal! We have battled with my 7mo sleep and continue to do so, so I can relate with how difficult it is, you aren't alone. I have a 3yo so what I can say is hang in there, they will sleep one day.

Cindy1802 · 03/08/2024 09:44

Also re. the false start at bedtime - that might mean that he only needs a nap at that time, then up for 2 hours again before bedtime. We were still napping at circa 7pm for 30mins at that age, for a 10pm bedtime.

YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 03/08/2024 09:47

Totally normal at this age, I think you're stressing yourself out unnecessarily by trying to get him to bed earlier.
At that age my little girl went to bed at 11, woke up at 4 and then 7. She dropped the 4am feed about 5 months, then we gradually moved bedtime earlier. She's now 8 months and sleeps 7-7.

meganna · 03/08/2024 09:50

At that age all mine also went to bed between 10pm and midnight, it's very normal for young babies! Just roll with it for now. Bedtime will gradually move earlier over the next few months.

KG1244 · 03/08/2024 10:01

Thank you all so much! I think I’ve been worrying more cause a lot of my antenatal group have their babies asleep by 7:30/8:00 so I worried I was doing something wrong! I will roll with it for now. Should I just let him take the lead then in terms of it getting earlier for bedtime?

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YouLookLikeStevieNicks · 03/08/2024 10:07

It's up to you really. Personally I found the obsession with babies going to bed early in ante-natal classes a bit weird! For example, a lot of women I know seemed to think baby sleeping from 7am-3am then 3am to 7/8am was the dream. But for me, if my baby is going to sleep for 8 hours straight I want them to be the same 8 hours as me!

So we kept bedtime late until she dropped the night feeds completely, then I started moving bedtime earlier. But there's no right or wrong, whatever works for you.

KG1244 · 03/08/2024 10:21

And as you guys are a lot more expert than me! Is there any worry that he stays awake for 3-4 hours before bed cause he won’t go to sleep?

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Anotheranxiousone · 03/08/2024 10:30

Nah. The books will tell you 2-3 hour wake windows but mine have already done a longer stretch than that at some point during early months!

KG1244 · 03/08/2024 11:16

@Anotheranxiousone thank you!

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