15month old sleep getting worse and worse! Where do we go from here

[TheDomeChurch]

15month old, fed/rocked to sleep, wakes multiple times through the night (up to 6x), every night v unpredictable. She started nursery 4 months ago and, despite them trying, she has 1 nap a day there (usually around 1.5hours). She has 2 naps (2+hrs total) on weekend and when not in nursery. We think she’s chronically overtired but how do we catch up? Husband and I take turns settling in night but just feel at 15months, sleep should be more settled and predictable by now!

Where do we go from here? Would a sleep consultant be worthwhile? Really don’t think she’s ready to wean off the breastmilk just yet. She doesn’t take a bottle…

Stop rocking and feeding to sleep and try GENTLE sleep training. Put to bed, read story, say goodnight and leave. When she kicks off (she will as she's not used to it) go back in every 5 minutes, no eye contact just say "It's time to sleep now", lie her down and leave. It's hard and will take a while the first few nights. Maybe make sure she can hear you pottering about outside so she knows she's not been abandoned but stick to your guns and she will learn that there is nothing to settle herself.

Missed out a word or two! "Nothing to be afraid of and learn to settle herself"

This in a nutshell. Don't be afraid of her crying, she will cry as she's over tired and it'll be a change of routine but persevere and reassure her and stick with it.

I respectfully disagree with PP personally. Sleep training has been proven to not really work - baby just learns no one is coming. No matter how “gentle” it is. Lots of people find they have to “retrain” again as well.
Why leave a baby to cry? They are just communicating that they need you the only way they know how.
Obviously you can chose to sleep train if you wish but I just want to offer an alternative perspective. I have a 18 month old, she’s breastfed and I have co slept with her since she was born. She used to wake every 1-2 hours and need milk to resettle. I didn’t mind it, I just wanted to be there for her at night. But I’ll admit at times it could be exhausting!
Im now pregnant with twins so we have decided to try something different. She is still rocked to sleep (not fed anymore) by my partner and she sleeps in her own bed next to ours. We respond to her throughout the night but the last few nights she has only woken up twice for milk and a rock and sleeps the rest. We haven’t made massive changes - just own floor bed and rocking instead of feeding to sleep. I honesty think she was just developmentally ready.
Few questions I’d ask… how much sleep does she get in 24hrs because one nap a day of 1.5 hours doesn’t sound too bad if she gets say 10-11 hours at night (I don’t mean straight sleeping through just around that much).
I have been where you are and it is exhausting but trust your baby will sleep. She’s still so young and needs you there. She will learn to sleep on her own in her own time.
Good luck with whatever you chose to do and I hope it gets better wiser for you 🤞🏼

Thanks for this. Nursery day. 1-1.5hrs nap, night time sleep 630- 530/6am = ~12.5hours total daytime sleep. Is that ok? Have no point of reference. The issue though is more the continual and unpredictable wake ups and she usually also needs milk to resettle. It’s tough being back at work now, tough but less so when I was on maternity leave.

was the rocking to sleep a way of weaning off the feed to sleep, and did this go hand in hand with less milk feeds during the night?

Thanks for your thoughts. Sometimes she’ll wake and crawl around her cot, sit up, stand up, then settle herself back to sleep. We feel comfortable leaving her like this but not sure when she’s getting really worked up. Going to have a good think and research about the sleep training. Your recommendations come up a lot so definitely going to consider.

12.5 hours in 24 is on the lower end of the scale but it’s still completely within “normal” sleep needs for a 15 month old. All babies are different and you know yours better than anyone… is she generally happy when awake? Is she alert? Is she meeting her milestones? If it’s “yes” to these questions she is getting enough sleep.
Whilst wakes ups are exhausting and frustrating they are completely normal at this age. For us rocking to sleep instead of breastfeeding does seem to have helped her to sleep for longer without wanting milk. I think it’s broken her sleep association a bit. If you and your partner are willing I would hand over night time to partner. Give your DD some milk just before bed but keep her awake (be downstairs, have lights on etc.) and then let your partner get her to sleep and I guess just see if that helps! May be worth a try!
Look up Lyndsey Hookway on Instagram… she has so much scientific backed information on baby sleep and normalise a lot of baby behaviour (e.g. lots of wake ups). Her account has certainly made me feel better about my LOs sleep. I hope whatever you try helps and you get some well needed rest x

The trick is not to leave her until she gets genuinely upset. Complaining, having a grump, fair enough but don't leave her until she is frightened and upset. We found making sure the toddler could still hear us helped so they didn't feel totally alone. I remember a lot of inane conversations about nothing at the tops of our voices on the landing so we could be heard! When you do go back in, it's a calm, quiet "time to sleep now" and leave. Don't get cross with her.

Blows my mind that posters call sleep training 'gentle' when it involves ignoring a baby for hours at a time and not making eye contact. Just awful.

I have pretty much just posted exactly the same about my daughter! Can I ask out of desperation has yours got any better in the few months since this post? If we had a timeline it would almost be more bearable.