How to stop feeding to sleep - please help!

[Invisibledawn45]

My 9mo is EBF since birth, doesn't take a dummy. He has always woken a minimum of every 2 hours for a feed/comfort.

Now after 9 months, I really need him to stop using me for comfort through the night and as his only sleep association. I'm beyond exhausted from the cumulative broken sleep (also have a toddler and it's school holidays) and going back to work soon.

How can I wean him off feeding to sleep and needing me to go back to sleep? I have tried all conventional advice eg. rocking, patting, cuddling, none of that works he just cries louder until he's fed or moves to the boob. Any more intense sleep training is not an option and my partner cannot help with nights because of his job.

Is there anything I'm missing? It's a stupid question but what's my first step to try next? Thank you.

You are me! My dd is 9 months and 1 day and wakes up frequently (I'd say averages 6/7 times a night) and wants a quick comfort feed back to sleep and is a light sleeper so we daren't move her from our bed, so no one else can get comfy. My dh gets up at 5.30 and has a long motorway commute, so I don't ask him to help in the week. But he often does the before he goes to bed ones and can rock her to sleep pretty easily but she won't for me. I have no clue. Mine is a rubbish napper, ocadsionally just an hour max in total, but she's not an angry tired baby with it randomly. On the rare ocassion she's had a good nap day she's no better at night. I do think mine is very very gradually improving, but it's a long slow road! I'm back to work soon too so that will be interesting!

We've got into some really bad habits here!

I was like this and I started getting brain zaps from sleep deprivation.
Mine just stopped naturally at 14 months, I remember the last night I fed her, tried to feed her the next night and she wasn't interested. Hopefully yours will stop naturally too.

The little ones app is helpful for this. We have been working on feeding to soothe when putting down for naps and for bedtime and still feeding to sleep for the multiple night wakes.

Put in cot awake. Reassure with voice and touch. After 6mins if still upset feed to soothe but put back in cot awake. Repeat as needed until asleep. There was some protest crying initially but very quickly my 6month is getting used to it and was asleep in 5mins today.

Once they are used to that you move on to feed to soothe for night wakes. Hope that makes sense.

The comfort nursing is not just for comfort, it stimulates your milk supply to go up. Babies tend to comfort nurse more intensively just prior to their growth spurts- which occur roughly every three months.

You could sleep train, but that risks milk supply problems so I would not do it unless you are prepared to do top up feeds with formula.

EBF is great, but not if it is at the cost of your health especially once you are back to work.

How often does he feed during the day?

I have found that my son needs a proper feed the same frequency day and night (sometimes more comfort feeds, but usually the following).

7am feed on wake.
11am after first nap.
2pm before second nap.
5pm around dinner.
7pm around bedtime.
11/12ish.
3am

The two hourly night wakes phased out as the day feeds stretched out too.