Need sleep help desperately

[StaceyWS88]

My 6.5 month old is somehow in an awful routine of loads of naps early in the morning, just short 30 minute ones, an hour and a half at lunchtime and then is knackered in the afternoon but absolutely refuses to sleep. I follow his sleep cues but come afternoon he just refuses to sleep. He’ll be dropping off and then he’s awake again, annoyed if I try to give him his dummy, annoyed if I try to cuddle him. It ends up that come 5pm we’re giving him his bottle and he’s asleep by 6. He’s then awake around 12 and again at about 4:30. After a bottle at 4:30 he’ll go back to sleep for about 40 minutes, is awake about an hour and has another 30 minutes and an hour later has another sleep. I don’t know what to do 😭 I know every baby is different but looking at what a 6 month old ‘should’ be doing he’s just all over the place.

He’s currently absolutely exhausted having been awake since 1:30 and it’s getting on for 5pm.

This has been going on now for about 6 weeks, maybe more. Does anyone have any advice? Has anyone else had this?! Would really appreciate advice, but I won’t use any cry it out methods. Thank you!

<disclaimer - I'm not an expert, I'm a FTM to a 6mo who doesn't sleep brilliantly and seems to love resisting sleep>

come afternoon he just refuses to sleep. He’ll be dropping off and then he’s awake again, annoyed if I try to give him his dummy, annoyed if I try to cuddle him
Where is this happening? Does he nap in sling or buggy? Does he ever feed to sleep for naps, or contact nap?

So he used to sleep in his buggy a lot, but when we moved him to the sitty up insert he started resisting and I read it’s better for them to be in a darker room, so I started having him nap in his cot. That didnt go so well, so I tend to have him sleep on the bed and I’ll usually be next to him reading, so I suppose that’s classed as contact napping? He does go down a lot better being beside me but it’s just the afternoon nap that he fights. Sometimes it’ll end up where he’s resisted so much it’s nigh on time for a bottle so I’ll get one and he’ll be drowsy taking it, but still won’t go down after he’s fed! He actually drops off multiple times then it’s like he stops himself. He’s a little bugger!

I know what you mean.

Nah I don't think that's a contact nap, he's not on you!

I read the last nap of the day is often the hardest. I also find sometimes it gets missed especially if nap 2 has been late, and we bring bedtime forward.

I say do nap 3 however you can get it done. For mine that's usually the sling on a walk.

I'm also trying to make the buggy a place he can sleep again since switching away from the Newborn setup!

Oh - and for the early morning wake ups and naps, is it possible he's cold? Is the light coming into the room?

It sounds like his bedtime needs to shift later by hook or by crook.

I've found that working hard on stretching the wake windows earlier in the day (even if only by 15m at a time), he can build enough sleep pressure to nap longer.

I also don't worry about how or where as long as I can get the length of nap right. He can't learn to sleep better without practice - I found the car worked for me, and lap naps on my feeding pillow (even if you don't BF you could rest him on one).

Pushing him a bit in the morning (carrying him around, taking him outside, a bit of water play) lengthens the naps. Then the last wake window takes him to between 7-7.30, and wakes 7-8.

We used to have difficult mornings (early wakings around 5am) with our now 9mo and I found letting her sleep too early in the morning was affecting the 3rd nap. The best thing I did to take control of the day was fixing the first nap - gradually in 10 minute increments.

At 6.5mo her first nap was no earlier than 8:30am. So for example, if she was to wake at 4:30am for a feed and back to sleep until 5:10am I would treat that as an early morning wake and keep her up until 8:30am.

He won’t contact nap anymore, will not fall asleep on you, I don’t really know when that stopped but he just tears back. I have took him out in the car before to get him to take his afternoon nap though so I’ll maybe try that for a while. I’ve just got a suction black out blind to try and darken the room to help. Our rooms pretty warm so I don’t think temperature is the problem.

Thank you everyone for the suggestions about pushing back his morning nap gradually, great idea and I’ll definitely do that, you’ve all been so lovely, thank you!

Mine wouldn't fall asleep just on me but will in the sling (especially in motion). He cna do 2+ hours in it. It might be worth trying?

We have a sling on hire from the sling library but we haven’t properly tried him in it tbh, I tried once and got the fit all wrong and he was kicking off so I haven’t tried since, but definitely a good idea trying again.

He’s actually been a lot better the last few days, we’ve pushed his wake window back in the morning and touch wood, he’s having longer wake windows and yesterday after his early morning wake he went back to sleep til after 7 and today it was 8, long may it continue! We have Velcro to attach the suction blind so going to sort that today and see if we can reduce his night wakes. Thanks again for the advice, really appreciate it!

Pic of my currently napping boy 💚 (I’m with him and keeping an eye so the pillows aren’t a risk and that’s a breathable muslin on his face ☺️)