4 month old - in sleep hell!

[BumbleBeeBumbum]

Until this point my four month old was a brilliant sleeper and eater...

In the past week she will not be put down in her cot at nighttime. She used to do 9 - 3 wake for a breastfeed and then sleep till 8. Now she wakes everytime I put her down in her cot... everytime! No matter how long I feed her for / whether I put her down awake and she falls asleep in the cot / let her fall asleep on me and I transfer after a few minutes or an hour. So it means all night I'm having to hold or cuddle her.

Is this a sleep regression? It's horrific...! We had a very different experience with my son. He would wake every 1 - 2 hours but at least I could put him down and get some sleep! Her naps are crap and she only naps on me now. I always try to put her in a cot / pram / car but she wakes up.

I don't think Co sleeping will work for us
a) I'm too scared as we know someone whose baby died whilst co sleeping and it's horrific
b) my three year old comes into our room in the middle of the night for cuddles when he struggles to sleep and I'd worry he would squish her. I don't always wake up when he wonders in
c) when I lie her down and stop cuddling her she cries anyway!

Does anyone have any advice / experience they can share? It's my last baby and currently I'm trying to take the attitude of "when I'm 70 in a nursing home I'd give anything to be back cuddling my baby" but I'm starting to get soooooo tired and feel unwell!

I don't have any answers just sending solidarity. It is horrendous! I also have a nearly 4 month old and he's almost as bad as yours. I'm shattered and struggling to function and feel bad for being a terrible parent to my 2 year old because I just have no energy or patience. Really hope it improves soon for both of us!!

Just to say that co sleeping also doesn't work for us. He'll wake and start crying or flailing limbs at the smallest movement I make so we don't get any more sleep this way.

It actually helps knowing someone else is up at night doing the same thing!

My 6mo has been the same this week. I think it was the start of a bug, he wouldn't be put down

It definitely sounds like the dreaded 4 month regression. I remember it well😔 all you can do is get through it. Unfortunately there's no reasoning with a 4 months, if only 😅 solidarity op it's one of the shortest parts but chin up and remember it really will pass😁

One of the shittest parts that should say🤣

Agree with the others here it’s the dreaded four month regression that you sadly have to wait pass knowing it won’t last forever even though it’s hard to remember that in the moment. Do you have anyone who can help look after your little ones so you can get some uninterrupted sleep even if it’s just a few hours so you can get through the tougher parts of the day?

Thank you everyone!

I decided to introduce a dummy and that seemed to help last night. Not sure if that was a stupid idea as now I'll have another problem later on?

she has got a cold which might be why she's been so bad?

thankfuly my partner took her this morning and I had a lie in till lunchtime... I've not done that since I was a teenager haha.

The 4 month sleep regression didn't end for us so after 10 weeks of hell we sleep trained, but I was determined to wait until she's was past 6 months old before we tried it. We went back to comfort her every 2 minutes and on night 1 she was asleep in 12 minutes, slept for 7 hours. By the end of the week she went straight to sleep and slept through the night. This happened every night from then on almost entirely until the 18 month sleep regression which we are just coming out of , I think/hope! We had right hiccups with nap transitions etc but never anything like the 4 month regression.

BUT, Regressions pass for many babies so hopefully waiting it out will work for you. We caved because after 10 weeks of her waking every 20 - 45 minutes I was so sleep deprived and messed up I was about to be put on antidepressants. One of us had to be thrown to the wolves so we decided to try sleep training for a few days instead of committing to months or even years of having a clinically depressed, medicated mum. It was definitely the right decision for us.

I really hope it passes for you, the research suggests it probably will within 6 weeks which is still awful but hopefully you guys can make it through!