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12 month old will not sleep through

4 replies

NoSleepMum7 · 23/07/2024 22:18

I appreciate that not every baby will sleep through and that it’s somewhat normal for them to wake up but ever since five months old our son just will not sleep through the night. He wakes every few hours. He sleeps from around 7pm until about 11pm or midnight, sometimes he wakes sooner and will not go back down without being in our bed. I’ve tried so many times to get him to sleep, I’ve sat and rocked him, I’ve tried leaving him in his cot and just sitting next to it, putting my hand on his back, but the second he wakes up, he just will not go back to sleep in the cot. He screams and cries and just won’t settle back down, no matter how many hours I’ve spent with him trying to settle him down. I am at my wits end, I cannot cope, I get him into our bed just to try and get some kind of sleep overnight, but even in our bed he tosses and turns all night, sometimes getting up to cry until I lay him down and cuddle him. Hes up for the day at around 6/6:30am, a morning nap of one hour at 9:30am (waking at 10:30) second nap at 2pm until 3pm, then bath and bed routine starts around 6:45, usually asleep around 7pm

i cannot fucking cope, I am struggling with this so bad. He screams so loud it goes right through me, i don’t like the cry it out method but he gets me so worked up I just feel like I want to leave him to exhaust himself to sleep, but that’s not how I am and I can’t let him 😭 I am just so tired, I’m exhausted, I cannot remember the last time I slept properly because all night I am worrrying about when he’s going to wake up in bed with me, I cannot settle, I feel like even when my husband gets him at 6:30 and lets me sleep for a few more hours I just cannot go to sleep, I feel like I’ve forgotten how to go to sleep. I don’t even know if I’m asking for advice or just venting, but please tell me it gets better? I am shattered constantly 😭😭😭

OP posts:
NoSleepMum7 · 23/07/2024 22:21

To add, he has no dummy, we got him off that about 6 weeks ago maybe? He eats well through the day, has a bottle of milk in the morning and one in the evening, has breakfast, lunch and dinner, along with some snacks if he’s hungry. I just don’t understand what he could possibly need, it seems like he doesn’t even want anything, just for me to have no fucking time to myself it seems 😭😭😭

OP posts:
fairymary87 · 23/07/2024 22:25

This is so normal. So normal it hurts. Possibly cap the naps for a bit or try a later bed time. Spilt nights tend to be when there sleeping to much

NoSleepMum7 · 23/07/2024 22:32

fairymary87 · 23/07/2024 22:25

This is so normal. So normal it hurts. Possibly cap the naps for a bit or try a later bed time. Spilt nights tend to be when there sleeping to much

Thank you, I’m just so tired, I can’t think straight. He seems like he’s asleep and then the second I put him down, he’s awake and crying. I hate the thought of letting him cry but sometimes I just cannot cope with the sound and have to leave the room for five minutes for my own sanity 😭 I will try to cut his daytime naps down first and see if that helps! I’ve been going by the huckleberry nap schedule (the free ones online per month of age) just to try and have some kind of routine but I don’t know if it’s not right for him? 😢 Thank you so much!

OP posts:
USaYwHatNow · 24/07/2024 02:55

My son was still waking multiple times a night at 16 months. My husband and I are in safety critical jobs so going to work exhausted was no longer an option. One night, despite Co sleeping with him, he woke for a breastfeed about 6 times and I'd had enough at that point.

We did controlled crying, something I was completely against initially so we did a modified version. Instead of leaving him to cry for an extended period of time and then going in and essentially ignoring him, we built the time up in stages from 1 minute, to 3 minutes, to 5 minutes to 7 minutes. Each time we would give him a cuddle and re set and try again.

The first night we did this for 45 minutes but he then slept through for 12 hours. The second night took 30 minutes, again sleeping through for 11 hours. The third night he went straight to sleep for 12 hours solid.

After the first night he was a completely different kid. He woke up happy and wasn't constantly grizzly and cranky, I think he needed the sleep as much as we did!

I was so worried that he would hate me or that his attitude towards me would change but he greeted me with such a lovely cuddle and smile, still happy to breastfeed in the morning, still as affectionate as ever.

Now he's nearly 2 and we're expecting another baby so I'm glad I cracked it when I did. Sometimes I still wish I could have him in our bed overnight for a cuddle every now and again, but we're really careful not to break the routine.

He has slept through the night ever since, only waking once a few months ago as he was poorly.

We did go through a phase of him going to be at 7pm and waking for the day at 5am. That lasted for about 2 months and nearly killed us, however now his wake up time is anywhere from 6am-6.45 which suits us. He naps for about 45 mins-2hrs a day after lunch (ish) with the average probably being about an hour.

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