I have a one week old (first baby). I understand that I am very lucky as my husband is super helpful with her. However, he has come up with an arrangement (which I did initially agree to) whereby we split the nighttime duties so each can get some rest. I stay in the bedroom and him in the spare room and we switch at each feed. This sounded like a good plan but I feel more and more as though he is in control of everything and I’m not that much use. It’s not a long term solution as we will have to get a more stable routine as she gets older. I don’t like going to bed and leaving her in another room (not because I don’t trust him but I do worry ). They’re just in the next room with the doors open but it feels wrong. Yesterday I didn’t wake for my 4.30 alarm so he just kept her all night so I could sleep. I know he is trying to be helpful but I was upset when I woke up and realised I had missed her feed and it made me feel like I had failed her.
Another night I accidentally gave her the wrong bottle, we’re not yet succeeding with breastfeeding and I generally just seem to make mistakes because he has been doing so much more than me.
It just makes me feel like I’m not a good mother to her but I’m scared to talk to him about it as I know he’s trying to help me. I feel okay during the day but when bedtime comes around I feel really inadequate and almost as though it’s a worry that this will affect my bond with her. How do I approach this?