AITA for not letting my mum enter the room when my baby is asleep

[Onezenmummy]

My LO is 5 months old so I have had 5 months of sleep patterns and know he is a light sleeper. It’s been difficult getting him to stay asleep through the night for more than 20 mins in his next to me crib, when I feed I let him have a little sleep in my bed just so I can transfer him when he gets into deep sleep if he even does, everytime I move or even want to get up he instantly wakes up. I struggled with insomnia for more than a decade before having a baby. AITA if my mum comes to see my LO when he is asleep and I tell her to be quiet and not touch him because he will wake up. She says she doesn’t care and will carry on doing it whenever she pleases because she isn’t the one that has to deal with the crying and putting my LO back to sleep ?

Your mum is being ridiculous and completely unreasonable. Don’t let her in the house if baby is asleep. Wow, I am sorry you have to put up with such rubbish.
Also have a look at safe sleep 7 and cosleeping. May help both you and DS get some more sleep.
https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/
https://llli.org/news/the-safe-sleep-seven/

No she's being selfish to you and your child. How would she like it if someone disturbed her sleep?

I'd stop having her round when baby is asleep

Thank you ! We have had countless arguments about it because sleep has been so detrimental to my mental health and a touchy subject which I have expressed to her, but sometimes she is so obsessed with my son (something for another discussion) that she will compromise me and my opinion. I have looked into safe sleep and do so most of the time but I still feel guilty even though our bed is huge and it’s just my LO and I 🫣

Do you live together? If not - stop her coming to see you. Keep your doors locked.

Did she actually say that to you! Wow she’s a piece of work. I wouldn’t let her in the house.

That's awful. I'd feel awful if I woke someone else's sleeping baby - and murderous if someone woke mine.

I'm presuming it's not just on sleep that she disregards your views? Long road ahead of you, put your foot down now. You'll be fighting the same battle about weaning, potty training, sweet treats, discipline etc etc etc as time goes on.

If cosleeping gets you more sleep you could get an Owlet wearable monitor. Lots if cosleepers use them. Also check out the UK Cosleepers Facebook group.

Oh and your mother is being selfish and ridiculous. I can understand why she'd want to take a little peek from the door as there's something very special about that, but disturbing him is ridiculous.

Already going through all of what you have listed because she has been fighting me to bottle feed but my LO won’t take the bottle, introducing food at her pace which I didn’t do and now she says I told you so because my son breaks out into hives at some things and won’t eat anything because of trauma from it, sweet treats she has told me she will feed him them when I am not there even though me and my brother never had them at a young age and I have expressed how I don’t want my LO to either.. the list goes on it’s a toxic nightmare

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Time to take a step back.

She actually says that??!!! Wow

I'd be minimising contact. She's a nasty cow. I can't imagine speaking to either of my children like that if they were parents. How dare she. She has no right. You're going to have to play hardball OP.

She sounds like a very abusive parent and I would move far far away and make your own family life free from her malign influence.

I moved away previously because of it but moved closer for several reasons one being having my LO and being alone (she made my pregnancy journey about herself). I am going through therapy for it because we constantly argue and she doesn’t seem to understand but wants me to tell her what she has/is putting me through. I cannot fathom moving far away yet but we will most likely leave the country in the near future. She has even tried to tell me to enrol my son into a nursery close to work so that she can pick him up. HELP

She says she doesn’t care and will carry on doing it whenever she pleases because she isn’t the one that has to deal with the crying and putting my LO back to sleep ?

For fucks sake, you need to get away from this woman. You need to get away before she makes you feel worse

Close to her work ! Not mine I am still on mat leave and will most likely be working from home

She says she doesn’t care and will carry on doing it whenever she pleases because she isn’t the one that has to deal with the crying and putting my LO back to sleep
So there you go. She's told you. SHE DOESN'T CARE so why do you care what she thinks?