How to sleep train 9 month old without crying

[Ckennedy]

Hi, my 9 month old has pretty much co slept all his life but I’m expecting another baby so we’re keen for him to go in his own room. We were successful for a week or two using the cry it out method but now he’s reached a new level of crying and will not give up!
has anyone got any ideas on how to get him to sleep happily in his own room?
he is a terrible napper so gets very tired in the evening but fights it. Hoping if he sleeps more independently at night he might nap better too.

Any advice would be appreciated

In my experience, naps and nights tend to fall into place together. If he naps badly and is overtired during the day then bedtimes and nights are already set up to be unsuccessful. If would nap and sleep train at the same time, with well-timed naps. Up at 7, first nap at 9 for ideally 1.5hrs, second nap at 12:30 for 1.5-2hrs, bedtime at 6:30.

8-10 months is often the worst of the first year for sleep (night and naps) because of the rate of development and so much change. What you describe sounds really normal to me. It’s probably the worst time to try and stop co sleeping as a result too. Please don’t leave your baby crying to try and train developmentally normal sleep out of him. If you can wait until a year you’ll probably have more luck moving him to his own room, a floor bed where you can lie with him to go to sleep rather than a cot will likely work better.

Babies aren’t robots, they all have different temperaments and sleep needs, one size doesn’t fit all. Neither of mine have ever ever needed a bedtime that early and it would have just been been hours of frustration trying to get them to sleep when they weren’t tired.

Didn’t say babies were robots, so entirely not relevant. They do, however, like all humans have natural melatonin levels that tends to cycle in the same patterns, making naps 1) more restorative at certain periods during 24hrs and 2) easier to achieve.

This schedule worked perfectly for both of my twins from 9 months to 2.5 years old.

I think you need to accept that others have different experience and can give different advice. It’s the OP’s decision what she wants to do with that advice.

@Didimum you're saying it worked for your twins like it therefore must work for all babies though, which isn’t true. There’s melanin cycles but also chronotypes and varying sleep needs, a selection of 9 month olds can need very differing amounts of sleep over 24 hours. Also are you saying your twins at 3+ hours of naps over 2 naps until 2.5, because I find that hard to believe.

I didn’t say it worked for all babies – anywhere. I gave an example of a successful sleep schedule that worked for my two children. The OP can do with that advice what she wishes.

The advice isn’t for you, so maybe you should work on not getting so involved in what others may suggest as advice. You seem angry that someone has a differing opinion to you which is not going to do you any favours on an internet advice forum.

Yes, my twins napped 2-3 hours a day until 2.5yrs old, and 12 hours at night. They were very happy and well rested. I don’t particularly care if you believe me or not. You’re not required to.

P.S It’s melatonin, not melanin.

Oh I absolutely agree! We’ve never mastered naps but previously managed nights strangely. I would def want to sort out both nights and naps. I can’t seem to get him to nap longer than 30mins, even in the pram

Yea I’ve also noticed he is a lot more clingy to me and his dad. Thinking separation anxiety might be a cause as well? I have also thought of a floor bed, and don’t mind lying with him as long as he would stay in his room

My twins were catnappers from 3 months to 9 months, until we nap and night trained. With only 30 mins napping and settling one and then the other, it meant at least one of them was awake all day long (and very grouchy because they were so overtired). Everyone told me their naps would start to consolidate around 6 months, but it never happened. I decided everyone needed good rest at that point!

I agree in that if you get a decent nap routine (roughly the same amount at the same times each day....until they inevitably change!) Then the nighttime sleep falls into place. Both of mine (now much older) really stuck to routines, my ds almost to the minute!) So I followed his cues. There are a lot of good sleep resources out there...I'm sure there are loads more in the last 14 years, but the Baby Whisperer from the 90s is really good at explaining the importance of naps, different phases of sleep etc and the routines are suggested rather than fixed. It also acknowledges different personalities of baby.

How did you nap train?

Thank you will def look out for the book. I def want to get a nap routine in place that works, just don’t know how to do it with an older toddler in the house as well.

Exactly the same as nighttime sleep training.