Bedtime Routine

Georgialouises · 2024-07-08T20:06:46+00:00

Hi everyone, Just looking for some advice on bedtime routines. My LO is 3 and an absolute nightmare at bedtime. I'm taking him to bed between 7:30pm and 8pm and he's not going to sleep until gone 9pm. Constantly messing around. Needing a wee. Saying hes hungry and thirsty. Wants to play. Anything but go to sleep. Feel like im at the end of my tether and also feel bad because recently alls I seem to do at bedtime is shout. Feel so overstimulated and anxious at bedtimes and like an awful mum. Help :(

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TheShellBeach · 08/07/2024 21:07

Get the Ferber sleep training book.
Mine slept through on the third night.

Legogirl48 · 08/07/2024 21:08

Does he still nap? What’s his routine for waking up?

Original poster

Georgialouises · 08/07/2024 21:17

@TheShellBeach I've tried this however he is stubborn and will not give in. He tries climbing over his baby gate OR he will say he needs a wee (even though hes been prior) and will literally force wee out so that I have to tend to him 😫.

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Original poster

Georgialouises · 08/07/2024 21:26

@Legogirl48 It depends. He doesn't usually nap however if we are driving in the car and he is tired, he will fall asleep and ill usually wake him up when we have got to where we are going.

He usually wakes up naturally around 8am (when he's not in nursery) on his nursery / my work days (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) I wake him up at 7. We have breakfast and then get dressed. I pick him up from nursery at just gone 5pm. He has a small tea at nursery around 4pm so when we get home at around quarter to 6 I make him something else as he is usually hungry.

He has a bath / shower around half 6 / quarter to 7 and then we read a story and get in bed. I'll usually lie with him in bed because if I don't it takes him even longer to go to sleep and he just screams the house down. When he finally does go to sleep he will usually wake up around midnight/1am and will get in my bed. Which I'll be honest I'll allow because I'm doing it on my own and when we have to be up early for work / nursery I'd rather give in and let him get in my bed so we can at least get some sleep 😔

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Legogirl48 · 08/07/2024 21:31

Georgialouises · 08/07/2024 21:26

@Legogirl48 It depends. He doesn't usually nap however if we are driving in the car and he is tired, he will fall asleep and ill usually wake him up when we have got to where we are going.

He usually wakes up naturally around 8am (when he's not in nursery) on his nursery / my work days (Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday) I wake him up at 7. We have breakfast and then get dressed. I pick him up from nursery at just gone 5pm. He has a small tea at nursery around 4pm so when we get home at around quarter to 6 I make him something else as he is usually hungry.

He has a bath / shower around half 6 / quarter to 7 and then we read a story and get in bed. I'll usually lie with him in bed because if I don't it takes him even longer to go to sleep and he just screams the house down. When he finally does go to sleep he will usually wake up around midnight/1am and will get in my bed. Which I'll be honest I'll allow because I'm doing it on my own and when we have to be up early for work / nursery I'd rather give in and let him get in my bed so we can at least get some sleep 😔

Sounds very similar to my routine with toddler and nearly 5 year old (apart from it’s usually between 6/6.30 they wake up). So I’m not sure I have any advice! They both go to bed at 7. My nearly 3 year old I had to gradually retreat from feeding when young, to rocking, to patting, to sitting on the floor next to him, to standing by the door, to standing outside the door and chatting to him through that a bit 😆 now I can usually leave him to then fall asleep by himself after a little chat but it took quite a long time to get to that point! But I couldn’t leave him to scream or do it quickly.

drowninginsick · 08/07/2024 22:04

I'd say the opposite to fucking Ferber lol. Don't know anyone that worked for, my toddler did the same and I read somewhere about "filling their love cup" sounds wanky I know lol and said it's about them trying for connection and needing you. This resonated with me as it always was worse on work days than weekends.

Tried to do really intense love bombing before bed. Loads of physical play too like tickling, then loads of stories and snuggles and happy chat about what we were looking forward to the next day, took about 2/3 weeks to see a difference with 2yr 10 month old

Original poster

Georgialouises · 08/07/2024 22:35

@drowninginsick OMG I absolutely love this. I do try with the cuddles and kisses etc but sometimes he's a typical threenager and says "no kisses mummy" 🤣. Tonight I told him to close his eyes and he replied with "I can't my eyes don't work, look mummy" to which I look and he had one eye closed and one open 😫.

Absolutely breaks my heart if I leave him to cry which when I've tried it in the past I've always given in because I sit telling myself imagine if I just wanted a cuddle and was left to cry. Then I tell myself he's not even been in the world that long and start feeling really guilty. Definitely going to try the love bombing tomorrow and see how thay goes because at the moment just feel like im constantly getting frustrated.

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Original poster

Georgialouises · 08/07/2024 22:38

@Legogirl48 It's awful leaving them to cry. I know that he just wants to be close to me which is fine it's when it gets to the point of even if I'm close to him he will do everything humanly possible to avoid going to sleep 😅

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