4 month sleep regression HELL

[DaringTiger]

Hi I am in desperate need of advice. I’m at my wits end!

My DS (19 weeks) slept amazingly with only 1 night wake up until about 5 weeks ago when the 4 months sleep regression started & his sleep has got progressively worse.

He is exclusively breast fed - I would love to introduce a bottle/formula but he is refusing atm & he is still in his next to me in our room.

He is now waking every 2 hours and I’m utterly exhausted. I’ve read some of the other threads in this forum but the children seem older- am I being to harsh on myself/him considering he is only just over 4 months?
Do I ride this out? Or will I be stuck in this position until I tackle it? It has already been going on for 5 weeks and I’m shattered.
I’ve read a Lucy Wolfe thread on here but the children are older and should be night weaned. How do you night wean when they wake up constantly and want the boob?

I understand that he’s developing and transitioning through sleep cycles but he wakes every goddamn time. I do try and put him down awake for his naps in the day but can’t seem to figure this out at night. How early do I feed him before bed time? How long do I leave him to cry at bedtime without the comfort of him nursing? Argh it’s just a minefield! We follow wake windows so will go off his last nap as to when his bedtime will be but it is usually around the same time. Our routine is consistent bath- sleep bag - book - feed to sleep. How do I put him down drowsy but awake? And how drowsy should he be?

In the night, he will only nurse for 5-10 minutes before he drops back off but the wakeups are more frequent than when this started. I’ve tried to settle him - stroking his face, patting his bum, hand on his tummy none of this works and turns the 5-10 minute wake up into 30/40 minutes when I crack and feed him. What else can I try? (He is refusing a dummy) What am I doing wrong? At the moment feeding is quick and works every time but the settling hasn’t worked once, goes on forever and I crack.

Has anyone bought sleep programs online? Are they worth it?

Sorry this post is so long. Any advice welcome.

The 4 month regression is the most common and can be the toughest.

What is the timing of your current daytime nap and bedtime schedule, and what are the wake windows? Does his daytime feeding seem distracted or lower? And yes, putting baby down awake for all sleep is preferable to feeding to sleep (but I get it when you'd do anything for some peace!)

We rode it out until 6 months then moved to own room and sleep trained. It's not for everyone but worked for us.

Co-sleeping worked for us. This is totally normal, and this too will pass! You are expecting too much of him and of yourself, he's still so so little. Drowsy but awake is a crock of shit for most breastfed babies - it's developmentally normal and natural for them to feed to sleep. He may not take in enough calories if you don't at bedtime anyway and then he will wake up more throughout the night to make them up. Just go with your baby. It sounds to me like you have a breastfed baby but are trying to follow really rigid and old-fashioned advice for FF babies.

And at 4 months don't leave him to cry at all! Feeding to sleep? Great, congratulations, your baby is a biologically normal mammal.

I would really recommend the book from La Leche League called Sweet Sleep. You can get it off Amazon (including kindle version). It’s a brilliant guide to safe cosleeping (aka bed sharing). It’s so so much easier when you cosleep, I have found I don’t know or even care how much my 4 month old feeds at night. Its all very organic and natural
feeling and so much easier than sleep training etc. I feel really well rested now and my baby is sleeping for much longer too (10-11 hours rather than 9 hours)

Exactly this 👏🏼

This is exactly what we did.