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Original poster

Someone please help with with my baby’s sleep I’m DESPERATE

23 replies

tophats0 · 26/06/2024 05:56

i don’t know what’s going on with my 7 months olds sleep but it’s going to kill me!
he’s asleep for 8pm after his bottle, I put him upstairs in our bedroom with the camera on, then I would say every half an hour or so one of us has to go up and put his dummy in/sooth him as he starts screaming. Then we go to bed ourselves and this continues - eventually DH goes to sleep on the sofa so that baby can get in bed with me and he sleeps a bit better then, but still does wake a few times and I have to sooth him back to sleep. But then he’s awake to start his day at 4am! I’m burnt out and exhausted with it. My DH tries his best to support me but he works super long hours.
Baby sleeps in our bedroom in a travel cot (hated the next to me crib) - people have suggested to me that he sleeps In a different room to us but he hasn’t got his own bedroom at all. Our 2 year old has his own bedroom but it’s too small for a cot in there as well and the third bedroom is for DSS who sleeps over once a week.

im at my wits end I’ve been awake since 4am after being woke a few times in the night. I woke up to him thrashing around and shouting and he actually kicked me in the face

OP posts:
BananaSpanner · 26/06/2024 06:06

Just sympathy, it’s really hard. The light mornings probably aren’t helping with the early starts. Do you have black out curtains?
I also brought mine in with me so no real advice different to what you’re doing. What are your chances of weaning them off the dummy?
Whats the plan for their bedroom?

Time2join · 26/06/2024 06:08

Sounds like you may need to ditch the dummy if it’s become a sleep hinderance. Is he waking up because he loses the dummy and can’t yet put it back in himself? It may be tough for a night or two but they adjust quickly and if it’s no longer helping him sleep then it is probably time to get rid of it. The other thing I’d be thinking which I’m sure you already have is whether he is in pain, teething perhaps?

Snooglequack · 26/06/2024 06:12

I would be going to bed with baby to try and get the sleep in. At this age DH and I would go to bed and watch TV in bed with baby next to us. It wasn't exactly the best time but it did mean we all got more sleep.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 26/06/2024 06:12

I agree. Ditch the dummy. And co-sleep from the outset. If he’s coming into bed with you eventually put him in when you go to bed. Anything for more sleep.

Overthebow · 26/06/2024 06:17

Yes stop the dummy. Do you still do any night feeds? If so then try stopping those too. Can you put the travel cot in the third bedroom? You may need to use that for your DS and DSS can sleep in with him once a week when he stays, otherwise you’ll have a room empty most of the week when your DS really needs to be o it if your room if he’s having trouble sleeping. What was your long term plan for a room for DS?

CabbagePatchMama · 26/06/2024 08:25

If you’re not ready/don’t want to ditch the dummy, when my daughter was 7mo I put 3 dummies in her cot in different places and when I’d have to replace her dummy I guided her hand to it and used her hand to put it in her mouth. Very quickly she started finding her own dummies and replacing them in the night.

Original poster
tophats0 · 02/07/2024 05:30

Another shit night and I honestly can’t cope anymore. Went to bed fine, from about 11pm onwards he cried out every 10 mins, sometimes the dummy worked sometimes it didn’t, only thing that works is picking him up and cuddling him back to sleep. At 2am my other half went into the spare room so that ds could get in our bed. He tell back asleep straight away but has been crying in his sleep since 4.30am! …….He only settles if I’m sat up holding him?! If I try and place him next to me on the bed he kicks off, even if I have my arms around him, it’s like he wants me physically sat up in bed holding him and if I’m not doing that he’s crying! The thing is though he’s actually asleep when hes doing this, not awake?!!! I’m shattered and I’ve had enough 😭😭😭

OP posts:
Original poster
tophats0 · 02/07/2024 05:32

So he’s hysterically crying but he’s staying asleep… I tried to wake him up by sitting up up and talking to him and he’s won’t. What could be wrong??

OP posts:
Original poster
tophats0 · 02/07/2024 05:34

We don’t do any night feeds and haven’t for months now, my dh thinks it could be an attachment/developmental thing? I don’t remember our toddler ever doing this!

OP posts:
Spacecrispsnack · 02/07/2024 05:34

what is his daytime sleep like?

Original poster
tophats0 · 02/07/2024 05:38

Overthebow · 26/06/2024 06:17

Yes stop the dummy. Do you still do any night feeds? If so then try stopping those too. Can you put the travel cot in the third bedroom? You may need to use that for your DS and DSS can sleep in with him once a week when he stays, otherwise you’ll have a room empty most of the week when your DS really needs to be o it if your room if he’s having trouble sleeping. What was your long term plan for a room for DS?

Our plan was to buy a 4 bed, however the ones we’ve looked at are extortionate and the mortgage payments will be through the roof 😭 we really want each of the children to have their own bedroom to themselves but it seems crazy that we will be paying thousands more and have much less disposable income for the sake of an extra bedroom needed only one night a week. I guess we have always known the possibility that DSS might choose to live with us permanently when he’s older.

baby was very much a surprise so we didn’t think we would need to move from our 3 bed

OP posts:
IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 02/07/2024 06:02

If he genuinely won't wake up OP, that's a children's A&E visit.

The inability to sleep unless held upright and frequent crying would suggest either a cold/blocked nose or acid reflux.

Original poster
tophats0 · 02/07/2024 06:15

Spacecrispsnack · 02/07/2024 05:34

what is his daytime sleep like?

Day sleep is good, he is able to nap in various places, pram, car, cot, contact naps, so it’s not like all his naps happen in the Same place but we’ve never struggled with his naps at all. Also at bedtime he has always had the same routine, bath, story with big brother and then bottle. Then he goes upstairs to our bed room About 8pm and I put the camera on. He will sleep for maybe 2/3 hours then he starts the whimpering in his sleep or sometimes full blown crying.

Last night I was up and down more than a brides nightie! So once again my dh went into the spare room so I could co sleep, which I NEVER did with our toddler! And he slept a bit better but starts this crying thing again at stupid o clock

OP posts:
Original poster
tophats0 · 02/07/2024 06:16

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 02/07/2024 06:02

If he genuinely won't wake up OP, that's a children's A&E visit.

The inability to sleep unless held upright and frequent crying would suggest either a cold/blocked nose or acid reflux.

His naps during the day are fine though this doesn’t happen? It’s only at night time

OP posts:
Spacecrispsnack · 02/07/2024 06:18

You poor thing it sounds really hard, what sort of crying is it? Like moaning or screaming? How does he respond to loud music being on? We used to play pretty loud drum and bass to ours once white noise no longer worked and it helped him settle!

Potplant19 · 02/07/2024 06:23

This sounds a bit like my youngest, who was a terrible sleeper. We went through a phase of one of us getting up and rocking her to sleep in the pushchair downstairs, before trying to sleep on the sofa next to them. I think something about being slightly upright and contained helped a bit. White noise helped a lot as well.

Could the crying whilst asleep be a night terror? Mine did similar and it was impossible to get through to her when it was like that. Never did get to understand what was going on entirely - she's nearly 2 now and sleep is still a challenge but nowhere near as bad as it was.

Nigellasstickytoffeepudding · 02/07/2024 06:24

White noise
Nightlight
Baby gaviscon
Infacol
Tooth powders
Dreamfeed
Go to bed when he does to get those 2-3hrs solid sleep
Is the travelcot comfortable? Does it have a proper matress?

autienotnaughty · 02/07/2024 06:44

Is he still awake when you lay him down? Or does he fall asleep on the bottle? He needs to be able to put him self back to sleep. Lay him down awake but stroke/soothe him. Then just reduce contact.

If he's still crying for dummy you will need to drop it.

Snooglequack · 02/07/2024 06:46

I have to say my babies were like this and both had cmpa

autienotnaughty · 02/07/2024 06:47

Re bedrooms unless you move at some point you need to put dss in small bedroom and your two share? But would be better to get sleep sorted first

Windthebloodybobbinup · 02/07/2024 07:21

Hi-we had similar with my second- he woke every 45 mins for the first year. Ruined my mat leave and I was dangerous to drive, actually got into a car accident! We did get the help of a sleep consultant which really worked, but you need the energy to enforce any new approach.
We took it in shifts- I went to bed at 8 pm and my husband stayed up with the baby until 2, then we swapped. It was pretty miserable but you've got to get a solid chunk of sleep.

iwonderland · 02/07/2024 07:28

tophats0 · 26/06/2024 05:56

i don’t know what’s going on with my 7 months olds sleep but it’s going to kill me!
he’s asleep for 8pm after his bottle, I put him upstairs in our bedroom with the camera on, then I would say every half an hour or so one of us has to go up and put his dummy in/sooth him as he starts screaming. Then we go to bed ourselves and this continues - eventually DH goes to sleep on the sofa so that baby can get in bed with me and he sleeps a bit better then, but still does wake a few times and I have to sooth him back to sleep. But then he’s awake to start his day at 4am! I’m burnt out and exhausted with it. My DH tries his best to support me but he works super long hours.
Baby sleeps in our bedroom in a travel cot (hated the next to me crib) - people have suggested to me that he sleeps In a different room to us but he hasn’t got his own bedroom at all. Our 2 year old has his own bedroom but it’s too small for a cot in there as well and the third bedroom is for DSS who sleeps over once a week.

im at my wits end I’ve been awake since 4am after being woke a few times in the night. I woke up to him thrashing around and shouting and he actually kicked me in the face

OMG I feel you with the sleep deprivation!! My 14 month old daughter still wakes constantly in the night! It's hard work! 😩 I think at 7 months though she was teething a lot as she was getting teeth come through, maybe give him some calpol before bed soo it helps him and then some in the night. My daughter has just started getting her molars through and it's been horrendous. I don't really have any tips if honest as I'm going through the same. As someone else said maybe try and take the dummy away as that's his soother but relies on it and as it's been said he can't put it back in himself 🤷🏼‍♀️ babies are hard work!! I'm absolutely drained and exhausted soo I know how you feel!

newyear2024 · 02/07/2024 07:36

My youngest was like this. You would find me drinking tea at 2.30am pacing the living room with him so he didn't wake the other two. Our day started at 4am - 6am. In our case it was teething. He didn't sleep through until he cut most of his teeth 🤒 it was a long road but by around 2 he was sleeping like his siblings through the night.

Sounds like he has pain OP, my guess is either teething pain or some type of wind/constipation. But he wouldn't be crying so badly in his sleep for nothing. I would ask for an appointment with your doctor x

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