Advice PLEASE

[Rose1999]

Please don't judge....

I'm a ftm to a 6 month daughter. Her sleep has never been great and has always woken 1-2 hourly at night. I tend to breastfeed her to sleep. She's never been great in her basket or now her cot and it's clear she wants me to hold her. In the evening, I am guilty of holding her sleeping from about 8pm and I transfer her to her cot when I go up to bed myself.

I know that I need her to sleep in her cot straight away but I just don't know how to do it. I've tried several times with a routine etc but it's like she knows I'm not there and will cry and cry.

I feel like such a terrible mother. I don't know how to make it right.

Been there. Give up! Don't put to bed early. Ignore the bedtimes recommended. If you can, wean her and express if you want to. She probably isn't worn out enough to be tired enough to go to sleep. Try a night light in her room. You can put her down but stay in her room to comfort her or put her in there when awake. Keep a good routine in the evening.

I managed to crack the self settling issue with mine by gradually reducing the amount of comfort I offered. It’s called the ‘parent presence’ technique (lots of articles on google). She’s 8 months now and goes down for all naps and sleep fully awake and just gets herself to sleep within 15 mins (although at 5am she forgets how to do this 😂)

I will caveat that there is some crying at first and the first week is a long week…

Please don't feel bad! You're an amazing mother. She's still so young. You could try very gradually putting her down earlier, or getting her to sleep next to you e.g. on your bed, and gradually increase the distance before putting her in her cot, you could side car your cot to your bed while you work on this if that might be helpful. Have you looked at Lyndsey hookway on Instagram? Good for normalising baby sleep and also working in other types of settling. E.g. you could try rocking or holding her to sleep for some of her wakes. Things are so much better for us now at 11 months (by no means perfect, still difficult to initially get to sleep), but now waking once usually, in own room. At 6 months still waking 2 hourly and co sleeping. Good luck you're doing great