I have a situation where my 9 year old DD has doesn't and won't sleep in her own bed. She has never done a full night in her own bed unless I have slept with her. Always been a poor sleeper when alone and not sure what to do next.
She shared a room with her sister from the age of 3-7 and still never slept in her bed. Tried both bunk bed and single bed.
We moved to a new house almost 2 years ago in which she now has her own room. We painted it neutral and calming hoping this would help and put in a bedtime routine from day 1 to break her in considering she has never had a room to herself before. I have tried soothing music, white noise, Tonies, reading stories before bed, oils in Bath or pillowcase, reduced screen time at bedtime and nothing seems to be working.
I find that when she sleeps in my bed she falls asleep almost straight away and doesn't wake up until the morning. However if I lay with her in her bed it can take her over an hour to go to sleep she even if I sleep in her bed with her the whole night she wakes up multiple times.
I've tried not letting her fall asleep with me next to her but letting her know I will check on her every 5 minutes. In which I do and again it can take over an hour for her to fall asleep so that's a lot of checks. Eventually when she has taken asleep she is up in an hour. I've tried the whole putting her back in bed etc but I am beyond tired to keep doing this. It's like the whole newborn baby stage.
She is scared of the dark, her sister has told her stories such as the clouds come and eat you (sister has adhd and autism) and DD easily believes things. She hates the dark and is easily scared. Even if she hears something bad has happened on the radio she really worries. I'm assuming she suffers from anxiety.
She enjoys playing alone but only like being upstairs, downstairs when someone is there. I know she desperately wants to sleep in her bed as she tries but then just can't go ahead with it.
If we go to the gp what can they actually. We have done the sticker charts and tried to make it realistic where she gets half a sticker if she sleeps in her bed half a night but that was short lived.
I'm changed her mattress which she says was more comfortable have her the she duvet as mine and pillows, left my scents in her room.
Even when she sleeps with me or sits with me it's almost like she's on top of me because she likes to be so close and now I have run out of ideas on what to do next.
I hoped she would have grown out of this by now or at least he on that road but we are nowhere near.
When she stays at a family members house every few months they have started she is the same, doesn't want to be left alone.
We also had a sleepover where she invited her friend to stay over. Her friend lights the dark and can't sleep with the light on, DD is the opposite and needs a passage light on with the door wide open. DD ended up leaving her friend to sleep on her own and came in with me. I just dont understand why she is so unsettled in her own bed regardless whether I sleep in there with her or not.
DD has traits of autism, has dyslexia and low self esteem which school have put on specific clubs during lunch time for her and simular children. Unsure if any of this info helps with the sleeping. It's just me, her sister and dad.
Any suggestions