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Do you 'make a rod for your own back' if you feed your baby to sleep?

30 replies

peggotty · 06/04/2008 21:19

Ds is 11 weeks - still little i know - but he always gets bfed to sleep at night. At his regular bedtime he feeds for about 40 mins, although only about 10-15 minutes of this is actual feeding and the rest of the time is just sucking until he goes to sleep and de-latches himself. His daytime naps only happen with him in his swing or pram or the car i.e with movement! I was totally spoiled by my first baby, my dd, who is and was an extremely good sleeper and self-settler. i suppose what I am worried about is that my ds seems unable to settle himself. Is this something that may come with age or is it something I will have to teach him how to do? He's really not too bad a sleeper at night, feeds once usually, twice sometimes, is put down asleep and stays that way until next feed/morning..

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
OverMyDeadBody · 03/06/2008 20:47

I fed DS to sleep and never saw it as a rod for my own back. Once I stopped BFing at 18 months I'd just stroke his back and he'd nestle into me and stroke my neck or kneed my boob till he fell asleep. It never took long.

Even now when he's ill, upset or overtired his hand creeps down my top to my boob, he uses it as a comforter(much to my embarrasment if it happens in public!)

preggersplayspop · 03/06/2008 21:12

There is some great advice from some of the posts in this thread. I have always BF my DS to sleep (he is 12 months) and I don't believe it creates a rod. Once I relaxed about the idea of when he would 'sleep through' (he never has) I came to the conclusion that breast milk has a sedative effect for a reason! Recently my DS has started to pull off the boob of his own accord when he has had enough. A few times he has whimpered for me to put him down in the cot where he has rolled over and promptly gone asleep. I think all babies learn to sleep in their own time and there is only very little you can do to influence it.

forevared · 05/06/2008 20:50

Like fromheretomaternity, I've also followed a feed-play-sleep routine and have had probs with nap times, particularly the lunch time nap. I'd really like to be able to bf ds2 to sleep for this nap but as he's had probs with wind I feel I have to burp him. Do you mums all not bother burping? I'm wondering whether to try this.

harpomarx · 05/06/2008 20:56

gah!

I hate that phrase 'rod for your own back'. Yes, train the little buggers to be independent as soon as you can so they never 'need' you!

actually dd didn't exactly 'feed to sleep' but good as and I had no problem with it. Puhpeng's post reads very true: 'I also think that it has contributed to her being a heavy sleeper because she's always been used to being moved / put down etc while asleep. She's now nearly 2 and I can still move her from car seat to cot in her sleep." Well, dd is nearly 4 and can still be moved asleep. She's also right to say they will decide when they are ready to go it alone - dd happily puts herself to sleep now, despite having been bf till over a year and bedsharing until very recently.

Habbibu · 05/06/2008 21:02

If I could do one thing differently, it would be to spend so much less time worrying about the whole "put down awake" thing. DD slept just fine when being bf'd to sleep - when she stopped doing that of her own accord, and started having very bad nights of sleep, we very gently started to help her go to sleep on her own - by cuddling her to almost asleep and patting etc.
As for the Eat Awake Sleep thing - try getting most adults to rush out and play after a big meal! The post-lunch siesta has a purpose...

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