Unpredictable sleep

[Lockdownbaby2021]

we have dived into the 4 month sleep regression this last 4 weeks.
right Before the regression my baby had a loose routine and would settle on his own with a dummy and white noise and be left.
But now he is fighting so hard for his naps, over an hour of screaming. I’ve tried longer wake windows, shorter ones etc but it’s still the same. Also night sleep has got shocking (I just forget to include the night wakes sometimes)
the other night I was awake from 1-5am with him.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. He just seems constantly tired

You’re not doing anything wrong. Baby sleep is weird and unpredictable (and sorry but this can last for their first few years of life).
Your baby is becoming more aware of his surroundings, coming out of the 4th trimester and is very much aware that you are not near him as he sleeps. Most babies that age need lots of help and support to sleep. Their instincts tell them they need their care giver there so they don’t get eaten by something (it’s all survival instincts).
Try closeness and movement to help your baby sleep… rocking, wearing, pram, car etc.
My daughter slept on me or in a sling at that age. Refused everything else. It’s hard but it’s completely normal.

@Brightandbreezey thank you for your response and kind words. I’m not bothered about him being in a routine as I’ve got a 3 year old at home and we’ve had to be flexible from the starts it’s just I feel like I’m not nailing the sleepy queues as each nap is a huge battle for such a short nap where he wakes up grumpy. Then the nights I’m awake for hours so I know it’s probably down to the poor daytime sleep.
I keep seeing posts about not rocking baby when they are 4 months or feeding them to sleep etc which I know is a load of s**t but it’s all you see when you google ‘4 month sleep regression’ 😫 I’m so exhausted. My first was hard work but he slept amazing at night so it’s been a huge shock

Oh bless you! I bet it’s so tough with a 3 year old as well!! Sounds like you got lucky with your eldest’s sleep as your youngest sounds very normal to me.
Yes all the crap online about 4 month sleep regression is bullsh!t. Stop reading it and respond in whatever way works for you and your little one. He just needs you right now!
Can you get a sling? Would that work? I found them great… my DD would often stir around 30-40 minutes but I knew she need longer so I’d just bounce her a bit/sing/sush and she’d be back asleep within minutes.
If you want realistic and backed by science information on babies look up Lyndsey Hookway and nurture neuroscience parenting (Greer Kirchenbaum). Both on insta, both so much more helpful then anything else I’ve seen out there.
its tough but it will get better!

Also if you don’t already… co sleeping works great for making sure you get some sleep too!