12 month old waking through the night..................

[Shhhh]

Advice please, been lucky with dd in that she was/is a good sleeper BUT since having ds I now know what its like to be sleep deprived.

He would wake BUT we could settle him iykwim in no time BUT the last 4 weeks have been awful...colds have done the rounds here and think ds is still suffering the end effects BUT I can't cope any longer.

He sleeps usually 7pm till 11pm and the "last bottle" we tried to drop is now a firm fixture. He then goes off only to wake around 12/1am, then wakes around 6 times till 7/8am..........

When he wakes we try and settle him, he seems fine (even to the point of laughing etc) BUT as soon as we step out of the room he's off..
We try and ignore him, he screams like he is being murdered . We end up changing his nappy,giving more milk or medicine and last night I gave in and brought him downstairs for quiet.

Its killing dh and I and more to the point its killing our relationship...I can carry on each day with little sleep (once up im ok) BUT dh ends up sleeping when the lo's have a nap and generally don't want to do anything for the wk/d..

Im a sahm BUT still need the help of dh getting up inthe night, he makes me feel resentful because he "works" claiming no other bloke does this when his wife is a sahm....

We bicker constantly and atm I would and could gladly walk away...

Sleep deprivation is horrid. I really feel for you.

I am personally of the opinion that it is unlikely that your DS is actually hungry between say 11pm and 5am, if he has a bottle at 11pm and plenty of milk/solids throughout the day.

I don't think there's anything wrong at all with DS feeding for comfort if you and DH are ok with that. and it sounds like you're very much not.

could you look at gradually reducing, then eliminating the feeds overnight as a first step? I would guess that your DS will complain bitterly, but you don't have to leave him to it. Stay with him, cuddle him etc until he's dropped the feeds?

yes, I would love to drop these feeds and just to clarify these feeds during the night have only started over the last few weeks due to us not being able to settle him..

Prior to it he was having a last bottle at 11pm and rarely had anything till 7/8am..

Last night we counted 4 bottles he'd had... Some he'd had the full 6 oz others only 3/4 oz....
Obviosuly he is not eating alot during the day due to having so much milk...

God,we are in such a mess and we are meant to be old hat at it .

Don't know for sure but would just like to offer idea, could you co-sleep with him for a night in his room and see if that helps? if it does i'd do it for a couple of nights so he's def in the routine and then put him in his own cot. also, have you tried giving him the 11pm bottle at 10.30 while he was still sleeping? I did that and brought it forward every half hour till by 8 months he had his last bottle before his dinner which made life great.

bit worried about co sleeping incase he likes it too much iykwim and if he's anything like dd he won't enjoy it..! she was never a baby who wanted to get into bed with us....

The last bottle varies..any time from 10-12pm and its in addition to his bed time bottle at 7pm..!

Its the fact that he is now having so much that is the issue iykwim...

thank so far x