Is this the 4 month sleep regression, or is it going to get worse?

[StaceyWS88]

My baby is 18 weeks old and I’m wondering if this could be the sleep regression. He’s refusing his last nap most nights which is usually around 6pm. Last night for example he was awake from 4:15 until we put him down at about 8:30, and it was hard to get him down. He used to sleep at about 9 and was easy to get to sleep and slept all the way through. Now he wakes sometimes in the night but for brief periods where we can usually get him back to sleep until about 5am. He’s sleeping less during the day but he will go down for naps, just not for very long, about 30-45 mins. I suppose I’m asking if this it or will it get worse? It’s definitely bearable but I’m worried that this is just the start. He’s not fully mastered rolling, he can easily do it if you hold his hand but on his own he gets stuck half way! I’ve heard mastering a skill can cause the regression. TIA! Pic of my little smiler ☺️

Oh he's a cutie!
Might be a regression or more likely it could just be that his schedule needs some adjusting as the time he can manage being awake changes as he grows. My first thought is why is he having a nap at 6pm? And then why did he have bedtime at 8.30pm? I'd suggest you drop that last nap and bring bedtime forward as he'll be very overtired with those timings and that will fuel night time wake ups. By that age my 2 were on 3 naps a day, with the last one finishing no later than 4pm, with a 7pm bedtime.

And to answer your question, yes it could get worse. Or it might not. The best way to survive the first few years is to remember that sleep is not linear. It doesn't just keep improving on an upward trajectory - there are good bits, then bad bits, then good bits again. I found accepting that easier. So don't obsess about what he used to do, but deal with the here and now. And I think right now you need to adjust his schedule as his behaviour is telling you he has changed and needs a tweak to his routine.

Hope that helps!

He’s just been needing a nap every hour and a half! He does throughout the day, and he clearly needs them because you can tell when he’s getting tired. And 6pm was usually his last one. He’d usually have two hours and then wake for his last bottle in bed and be asleep for about 8:30 until 5am. At the 6pm nap by then I could make tea and me and my husband would eat before he woke and we’d then take him up. When you say 7pm bed time, you’d go up to bed with them at 7?

Honestly? I wouldn’t over analyse it. Their sleep is up and down until the age of 3/4. It’s just part of being a parent putting up with their sleep patterns! It does get easier. He will sleep through every night eventually regardless of what you do

Thanks for this. I’m not complaining, his sleep was horrendous until he was about 2 months old, but I am scared of the horror stories of half hour wakes 🤣 and also my MH isn’t great and it’s particularly bad when I’m tired so probably just getting overly anxious.

A 6pm 2-hour nap, with a quick bottle and back asleep by 8.30pm, means he actually thinks his bedtime is 6pm (if he's not even awake for more than half an hour between the two, then he's treating that bottle as almost a dreamfeed). So, if he consistently starts fighting that last 6pm 'nap' then I would stop thinking of that as a nap and push his wake window towards a 7pm bedtime. During the next few months his wake windows (as in, the time he will tolerate being awake between naps), will naturally lengthen so you will need to change your routine alongside his. At the moment you've found a way to get food etc during that last 'nap' and that works for you. But it won't work for him forever so you need to be able to change with him. It really is best not to think of anything in at least the first year as set in stone, as things will change and change again. I found it much easier to accept the reality of change instead of trying to be too rigid.

Not sure what you mean when you ask if I'd go up to bed with them? If you mean in a strict safe sleeping way (in that you're also the room for all sleep), then no, I would put him to bed and that would be the time I would try and eek out some evening for me. The safe sleep guidelines are just that, guidelines, and I have taken a considered risk with both my two given I have no other risk factors, and by 4 months they were in their cots for a bedtime, with me in another room trying to enjoy some time for me. Where is he napping at the moment? If you don't want to leave him you can always put him to bed at 7pm wherever he currently naps, and then carry him up when you go to bed, inserting a dreamfeed then if necessary. Either way if he is resisting going to sleep at 6pm, then the wake window and your bedtime timings need to change

It does sound like the 4-month sleep regression, which I understand is related to their brain development and gaining more mature sleep cycles - shorter naps, fighting sleep and more overnight wakings are very common around this time. It is a permanent change to the way they sleep (but that doesn't mean they'll never sleep well again).

We experienced similar, although it started at around 14 weeks, and did get worse before it got better unfortunately. We had no nap or bedtime schedule until this point, just went with whatever DS did, because it was working really well! He had been falling into a deep sleep on his own with us in the living room between 6 - 8pm, and then waking just once overnight.

This suddenly changed and he stopped falling asleep on his own (and was very fractitious and overtired); then naps became short, 30 minutes on the dot, and he fought them hard; then he started waking more frequently at night, waking earlier in the morning, taking longer to settle at night, and being generally very restless and loud from 2/3am onwards...it all just gradually got worse over about 6 weeks, and I was getting quite desperate by the end.

We started trying to get into a more consistent schedule - having a regular bedtime routine at around 7pm (in the bedroom, with baby monitor on), putting him down for naps roughly in line with the recommended wake windows for his age, and trying to give him the chance to self-settle to sleep when possible. All easier said than done, but did get better, and helped to an extent.

However, overnight sleep was still crap as he was so restless, so we tried moving him into his own bedroom when he was about 20 - 21 weeks old. It effectively ended the regression for us, the change was so drastic - I think we had been waking each other up! Not everyone will want to do this prior to 6 months (or longer), but it really did help us.

DS is 8.5 months old now, and whilst I think his sleep was at its best prior to the 4-month regression, it has been pretty good ever since. Ups and downs are very normal though particularly when you throw things like teething, milestones and illnesses into the mix.

I would agree with PP that the 6pm 'nap' is probably actually his bedtime, so if that's not working anymore then try pushing it back a bit later, and putting him to bed in his overnight sleep space if possible. You can still give him a dream feed before you go to bed, and daytime naps will lengthen naturally when he's ready. FWIW I haven't found that the exact timing of wake windows matters hugely to DS, but just ensuring he naps with some regularity means that he is a much happier baby in the daytime.

Tonight we’ve taken him up earlier and as of now he’s sleeping soundly! Will do this going forward. I’m not comfortable leaving him alone just yet (I do leave him during the morning to shower etc, but not for too long, first time mama!) but will definitely just move him up if he’s sleeping. We have done this at times anyway. He’s sometimes wide awake but sometimes drowsy so we’ll go by what he wants at the time. Thank you for your advice ☺️

Fully understand what you mean about waking each other up. Our bed creaks when we get in and out and sometimes I get up for the loo and then he’s suddenly awake, so I think I disturb him. He also seems to have mostly stopped falling asleep on his own. Suddenly I have to hold him to get him to sleep which hasn’t happened for a long time. I think we got too comfortable with him drifting off alone. He does still sometimes but more frequently he needs contact, which I don’t mind but sometimes he’s fighting sleep even with contact when he’s blatantly knackered! We do stick to his wake windows for now, and they seem to work except from the evening so will definitely take him up earlier or move him up after he falls asleep downstairs.

Thank you for taking the time to respond x