Getting baby to nap independently

[Peachykeenjellybeanxx]

Hello
struggling with 6.5month old who will only nap in the sling!
not pram, not crib, not on me normally, only in the sling. the reason I’m struggling is because she is extremely heavy now, I’m only slight myself, and doing it 3-4 times a day is exhausting now.

friends have suggested I put DD in her crib and sit next to her, I’ve given it a go a couple of days now for the first nap but she just lays there smiling at me kicking her legs around. I know shes tired though because she’s rubbing her eyes etc.
she then gets over tired and can’t obviously get down on her own at that point so it then just becomes a really vicious cycle of trying, overtiredness, ending up in sling.

how am I meant to achieve independent naps?
its not just the heaviness at this point, it’s the heat that will be with us during summertime, I know DD isn’t as comfortable as she’d like to be as only cat napping in the sling these days, and also I’ll be returning to work in a few months and my parents are too frail to rock an even heavier baby down by that time. And as mentioned, pram naps do not work so that’s not even an option for them! And surely on the nursery days I can’t expect a nursery worker to whack the sling out and sing hop little bunny in a darkened room?

I don’t really know what to do in terms of wake windows as I find they change every day. Having no structure or routine is making me feel like crap as feel I’m failing DD after health visitor told me that my ‘lax’ approach is likely making DD feel unsafe. healfh visitor said I need to be at home for every single nap until she cracks it but sadly for my own mental health I just can’t do that, I need to get out of the house at least a few time a week. Is it possible to still achieve independent naps on the go too?

really hope someone can share their fountain of knowledge as with the current UK heat, DD has struggled to nap as she was far too hot in the sling! (And quite frankly so was I!!)

We found routine to be the key. It doesn't mean never leaving the house, but for a while it is a bit restrictive. Some people stick with the time but vary location (pram, crib, car), but we always were at home for nap time (after an early lunch). It was into crib, lights down, kiss and goodbye. Takes a while, but persist!

@Lokshen Thank you. Would you mind telling me a bit more about your routine?
also did you manage to get baby down by just walking out and they got it, or did you have to sit with them for a while?

Hi @Peachykeenjellybeanxx that sounds challenging! A couple of things to note is at this age a routine based on times is challenging but wake windows should be consistent which can help.
at 6.5 months I think 2-2.5 hours is generally average for a wake window but of course assess for yourself.

could you try popping her in her cot but then moving out of her eyeline. I found with my daughter (7 months) sitting by her cot seemed to stimulate her more and equally irritate her that I wasn’t picking her up. So I put her down and sit in a chair in the room away fro her- if she becomes unsettled I go to her and shush pat her/ calm her and then move away again. Then it soon becomes part of their routine that you don’t need to shush etc.
if your daughter is calm then giver her some time to put herself to sleep. The other thing to note is sometimes the kicking legs is a way of self soothing/ calming to help them get to sleep.
my daughter slams her legs up and down and then few mins later is asleep!

i don’t think you need to be home for every nap but I do think you probably need to for a few days to crack it so to speak. Thereafter you will have an idea of wake window so you can go out during that period or you can have a sling nap out again.

good luck! Napping isn’t easy but don’t let it consume you.

I think if you’re wanting to nap on the go it really has to be pram naps. I know you said it won’t work but tbh she will sleep eventually if she’s tired. She might not be to happy about it for the first few naps but she will get the hang of it. Have you tried a rockit? We have one and they are great. Pram naps are good because once you crack it they can sleep on the go, in the house, in the garden, in friends houses etc.

@Pinklilly Thanks so much for your reply and advice. I struggle with the wake windows due to the cat naps so find 2 hours is too long, however, sadly it seems that for DD to go off she has to be utterly exhausted which does make me feel terrible.

absolutely agree re sitting next to DD for naps. I find the same that she gets more irritated with me next to her as she just wants to be picked up.

I did try again today, the first nap didn’t go to plan so just got on with the day. By the second nap she was of course over tired so going off on her own was far too difficult.

maybe I’m giving up too easily but really trying not to let it consume me as you say!

@MotherOfDragon20 Thank you for replying. I do have a rockit actually. It’s on her snuzpod currently but didn’t think to move it onto the pram.
it seems when she’s in the pram no matter how much it’s moving she’ll just cry and refuse to sleep.
would you suggest just keep persevering with putting her in there. Rockit on, and keep popping dummy back in?

Yes I would try and persevere. It sounds like your lifestyle is very much on the go and having to stay home every nap time would make you miserable. My first born always napped in her cot and it was fine at the time. I enjoyed the down time at home. My DS (13 month old now) has always been a pram napper, it’s definitely given me much more freedom, he’ll nap in the pram if we’re at home but we get out and about most days and he will sleep anywhere, parks, soft plays, restaurants, coffee shops, friends houses, in the garden… etc. it’s been a game changer for us. Interestingly though he’s not great at just falling asleep as I walk (although he will if he is really tired) I think because there’s so much to look at. If I stand stationary, lie the seat back and just push back and forward for a few minutes it’s almost like a sleep association and he just nods off.

Hi @Peachykeenjellybeanxx im sorry it wasn’t as successful today. I would suggest giving it a go after dd has had a good nap ie the next nap.
that might mean for the first nap you hold her or pop her in sling however she will get some good rest and then try for the next one.

and with regards to the buggy I don’t know if it will work for everyone but I use a snoozeshade for my daughter. It’s almost like seeing everything but not being able to maybe see it as much as she would like or not being able to process it because we are moving was perhaps too much for her. Whereas once snoozeshade is on she is calm and able to nap.
it might be worth playing around with position of her seat? Not every child likes to sleep flat, perhaps more seated upright might be more appealing l.

genuinely though don’t stress too much, take each nap as it comes and brush it off if it doesn’t go how you planned. I say this as I went through a tough phase with dd at the start where it would take me 30 mins to get her to sleep and then she would only sleep for 30 mins: I felt so frustrated and overwhelmed. I am obviously glad those days are behind us but a part of me reflects that if I hadn’t got so frustrated I probably would have felt less overwhelmed

@MotherOfDragon20 That’s amazing, what a great sleep association to have!
i am on the go quite a lot mostly for my own mental health. I used to rely on a good old pram walk and would spend hours walking around lovely parks to help DD sleep but she just hates it now!
fingers crossed I can her to one day feel content in the pram again!

@Pinklilly Thanks so much for the kind words. Truly. Last week I felt I’d tried everything and I ended up in tears as nothing was working and DD was getting more and more upset. But this week I have definitely taken a different approach and if the independent nap doesn’t work then I pop her in the sling or I get on with my day and hope she nods off while I’m driving or out and about.

thanks for the advice re first nap of the day. I don’t want to jinx anything but I did pop her in the sling for the first nap. Second nap she was fighting quite a lot so I got on with my day, she ended up being awake for quite some time and went down fairly easily on the sofa (albeit with me sitting next to her… still!) and has been asleep for nearly 1 hour. Will give it another go tomorrow and see how we get on…

Ah yes. I do have a snooze shade which is currently in the suitcase for our holiday but always worth a go! I’ll definitely experiment with the recline of the pram and see if she prefers a particular way! At this point I will try anything lol.

thank you again so much xx

I just wanted to jump on to say a couple of things:

1. im totally in the same boat with DC2 so sending solidarity.
2. Don’t worry about nursery naps. It’s magic what the staff at nursery are able to do. I honestly still don’t understand how they do it but DC1 has always napped independently there - despite being a contact Napper when he started. He’s nearly 3 and starting to drop the nap but honestly, your baby will be fine!

@SteakSteak Ah thanks so much. Honestly last night my mum was round and for the last week or so DD has been really fighting going in her crib at night. My mum went upstairs, few bum pats, and she was asleep… nothing different to what I usually do! So I’m really starting to think that this baby is much smarter than I give her credit for and she knows I’m too much of a softie!!!
I bet she will go down with no bother at nursery!