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Neighbours are also affected

1 reply

minimanx · 03/04/2008 13:06

I am the neighbour of a couple who are suffering from the problem of having a young child that cries all night. I have enormous sympathy for their situation - honestly - but, like them, I too am struggling to function properly due to prolonged lack of sleep. For many, many weeks, the child has woken every night and cried. This goes on through the night with the wails beoming so loud and angry that it is unbearable to hear his distress. Not hearing anyone attend to the child, I lie awake exhausted hoping for it to stop, wondering what the parents are doing and how long it will continue. After many weeks of this and, regretably, with a level of tired induced annoyance, the neighbour and I spoke about it. The good news is that this helped enormously - once they had explained they were now trying the 'crying it out' method, I could see that something was happening and that this should help (we all have crossed fingers!). I am sure that they had felt anxious about the crying disturbing me and hope they now feel better that we have talked. I am writing this message because, on reflection, I feel it would have been better if we had talked earlier. I realise that during this time, parents are so tired and at their wits end that they have little/no spare time or brain space to either think about their neighbours or how to raise the subject. However, if things are left too late I am sure that tempers can be lost! Unfortunately, it feels a taboo subject for a neighbour to raise the issue of a crying child with a parent - I have even seen it met with real annoyance - so they may be reluctant to ask about it. I hope my comments here do not make mums feel defensive - it is not meant to be a criticism but more to say that in most circumstances neighbours can be understanding (we have often been through something similar/have family going through the same and can even be helpful) but, you do need to include them - especially if you are trying the CIO method. And, this might remove at least one of your worries (ie. what the neighbours feel) when going through such a difficult period.

OP posts:
Wisteria · 03/04/2008 13:09

minimanx - I think as responsible neighbours we all have a duty to discuss and be open about any 'night/ evening noise' with our neighbours who may be affected, whether that be due to animals/ children or diy.

So I agree with your post - people are much more amenable when consulted and approached instead of allowing resentment to simmer and brew

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