The lack of sleep at night with my 9 month old is honestly sending me insane.
An overview of our day - 6:30-7:30 wake
A feed (breast) straight away
Breakfast 8:00-8:30
Play/school run/walk
9:30 - breast feed and Nap1 for an hour in the cot.
Snack, play
11:00-12:00 lunch (most days if we're not out and about then it's snacking on the go)
1:30 Breast feed and Nap 2 for 1hour in the cot or pram if we're out.
Afternoons can vary with what we do but it always ends with a school run at 3pm
4:30- 5pm we eat tea
6- 7pm I've implemented a strict, calming repetitive bed time routine.
I feel like we have a really balanced day time routine in terms of eating, activities, naps. I don't nap when he naps in the day because I'm doing various jobs and chores. I'm trying to identify the issues of where it's going wrong at night time. He will wake every 2/3 hours from 7pm - 6am and the sleep deprivation for me is getting tortuous. It's affecting my mood, my relationship and my parenting overall. I'm cranky , emotional and short fused and I really need help.
I do think my baby waking is habitual and I'm looking at how to properly train this out of him. He's never taken to a bottle and the breast has always been used for feeding and as a pacifier. I noticed this quickly during the day, he would want the breast just to fall asleep, so I stopped that. However, night time is much different. I try not to offer breast every time he wakes up but when you're tired and you just want to go back to sleep it's hard not to. I've tried leaving him when he wakes but the screaming absolutely terrifies me and I can't not pick him up. His sleep environment is calm, dark and he wears a sleep sack. I've tried white noise, a night light and moved him to his own space but all just worsened the situation. I always consider the factors of sleep regression, teething, clothing material but there has been this constant cycle of waking in the night like a newborn.
I am a one man party when it comes to the nights and my partner has a really unsupportive view when I tell him how difficult it's been. "You need to sleep train him, let him scream" I feel it's quite easy to say that when you're well rested, exceeding in your job and the gym... anyway that's a whole different issue. I just need to make this better for me.
It's felt like the thick of the newborn stage at night for 9 whole months, not to mention the lack of sleep and constant wakes in the night during the last trimester of pregnancy. I feel absolutely broken. I'm just worried that at 9 months he's got comfortable with these habits and I've left it too late to help us both sleep better at night.
Are there any trial and tested methods on how to better this situation? I feel I need a little mentor stood with me at night telling me exactly what to do. These situations are entirely unique depending on the baby and I will try anything and everything at this point.
Thank you